


Philadelphia

by JustAJellyfish (orphan_account)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: BOTFA fix it, But Not Much, Canon Divergence, Dis needs to chill though, Durincest, F/M, FIx It, Lots of kissing, M/M, Nobody Dies, Post-Quest, Pre-Quest, Quest, So much kissing, Thorin is a meddling shipmaster, Thorin's A+ Parenting, Thorin's got sass, Throin so ships FiKi, alternate universe - soul mates, and i might need to change the rating, and im the one who wrote it, are there more, beg for it, but i make no promises, but they dont get together in the first chapter, cause there is so much FiKi, death what death, did i mention the FiKi, do you guys even want the FiKi smut?, dwarves are so great, i cant think of any more, i think, ill add tags later maybe, in which Kili's got sass, it depends, not a slow burn, potential for smut, slight angst, soooo many tags, thats what fanfiction is, the fluff is adorbs, the fluff makes me lethargic, there is always canon divergence, they elude me, with dignity though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-24 03:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6139240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/JustAJellyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Philadelphia means brotherly love, so obviously, this is Durincest: Fili × Kili.<br/>Bagginshield is also present, though the focus is on Durincest.<br/>Goes from before the quest, then during the quest, and then after (It's a fanfic. I can make them live if I want to.)<br/>Tons of fluff, always the fluff.<br/>Maybe *some* smut at some point, /maybe/.<br/>Taurial-and-Kili-lovey-dovey-moments don't happen in this fic, and, because I feel like being generous to him, Taurial and Legolas are 'going together,' as is an expression.<br/>Did I mention Barduil? Because there will be Barduil.<br/>This is going to be such a long fic, oh my goodness</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stirring

**Author's Note:**

> So, yes, I have a plot, kind of. I'm open to suggestions. This is the first work (of many) that I started about FiKi. I intend to upload other FiKi fics, if this one does well. This was also the first time I wrote fanfic about Middle Earth.
> 
> Let the FiKi begin!

Fili and Kili were at their home in the Blue Mountains. Uncle Thorin was off doing who knows what who knows where, and their mother, Dis, was off doing girl things, whatever it is that female dwarves do, so the brothers were left to themselves to do what they pleased. So, because they're boys, and dwarves, and related to Thorin, doing what they pleased meant training with deadly weapons. By using them on each other. Real mature, right? Then again, Fili was only about 80 and Kili was around 76, so they really were quite young in dwarf years. They had time to become mature. For now, they would try to kill each other.

In the most loving, brotherly, kind way they could, of course. After all, you didn't love someone if you weren't trying to impale their liver with something both pointy and metal, right?

... Right.

Fili and Kili were in the training quarters, preparing for a duel. Fili was sharpening his dual swords and Kili was cleaning his knives and sword, having already sharpened them. As they worked and prepared the brothers talked.

"Where do you think Uncle is right now?" asked Kili.

"I don't know," his brother replied, "but, wherever it is, it's probably better than sitting around here."

For some reason, Fili's response made Kili a bit sad. He felt disappointed in himself that he was not sufficient company for his brother to want to remain. But then, before Kili could respond, Fili continued.

"Then again, I'd rather be here with you and out there with Thorin." 

Kili's eyes went wide and a smile slowly began to spread on his face as he looked over his shoulder at his brother. "Really?"

Fili smiled at him. "Of course, Kili. You're my brother, and my best friend. I'd rather be with you anywhere than without you at someplace important." Kili felt happiness spread through him and his self-disappointment faded quickly. Fili was glad to see his words had made his brother happy, but inside he knew he was putting it lightly. He wanted to try and let Kili know just how much he appreciated his brother's company. "Why, if Thorin came back and said he was going to Erebor and he invited me along, I'd only agree to going I'd you were coming too. No matter the reason, if you stayed behind, I would never go to the home of our ancestors. Not with out you. Not for all the gold in Erebor."

By this point, Kili had turned around to face his brother, and when he heard Fili's words, his jaw dropped. "Truly?" he asked incredulously. He felt the exact same way and would do the exact same thing, but he hadn't expected his brother to think that.

"Truly," replied Fili, though he wouldn't meet Kili's eyes. It wasn't because he was lying or being untruthful in any way. He was very serious. He was also embarrassed and he knew his cheeks were beginning to turn red.

Suddenly, Fili flew back from his seated position and was sprawled out on his back. Kili had tackled him in a hug, his arms wrapped around his neck. Still on top of him, Kili pulled away enough to look Fili in the eyes. With a wide smile spread across his face, Kili spoke words that filled Fili with gladness. "The feeling's mutual, brother."

Fili smiled. "Good to hear it, KiKi." He used the nickname he had used for his younger brother when he was little. It hadn't been used in a while, and though Kili had always feigned grumpiness when someone called him that, he secretly loved it when Fili called him that. No one else though, just Fili.

"I'm glad you think so, FiFi." The brothers chuckled. Fili took in the sight of his little brother. He was getting much older now, yet he still was unable to grow a beard. Fili liked it though, it suited him, and reminded Fili that Kili would always be his little brother. His blue eyes stared into the younger's chocolate brown ones, and Fili couldn't help but be amazed at how such a plain color as brown could look so amazing and warm and spectacular on his brother. 

Fili felt his eyes wonder along Kili's face, taking in the contours of it. His cheeks were slightly rounded, though he wasn't chubby. His plump lips were a color somewhere between pink and red, and Fili suddenly realized he was staring at them. That was when he became aware that Kili was still on top of him.

And that was when he became aware that he liked it, his brother leaning over him as he sat on his waist. Fili knew that he probably shouldn't like it. Dwarves believed in soul mates, and he knew that they had no problem with homosexuality, but he had a feeling most dwarves would draw the line at incest. Besides, his younger brother would never like him ba-

What the floating cheeseballs?! Had Fili just admitted in his mind that he had feelings for Kili? What was going on with him? He hadn't had these thoughts before. Had he? He hadn't. Right?

Kili was completely oblivious to the internal spazz attack going on in Fili, because he was too preoccupied with his own thoughts. As Kili stared down at his brother from his position atop him, he couldn't help but study him. His golden hair was always rather perfectly in place, unlike Kili's, which was always flowing about here and there. Kili could not help but be jealous of the beard his brother possessed. By the time Fili was Kili's age, he had already had a full beard, and that wasn't uncommon, either. Kili always felt odd that he couldn't grow one, like an elf or something. The fact that he was an archer didn't help him stand out any less amongst his brethren. 

Fili's deep blue eyes reminded him of water. There were an few lakes near the Blue Mountains that he had seen, but something told him a lake wasn't the right analogy for his brother's eyes. He wondered what the ocean was like and if that would be a more appropriate description. Fili's lips were slightly more pink than Kili's, and they weren't as plump, but that didn't stop Kili from feeling a sudden pull in his stomach and a desire in his mind when he looked at them. So caught up in these new thoughts was he that he didn't notice Fili was staring at his lips too. That was when he noticed that he was atop Fili still, and, though he was slightly embarrassed, he didn't want to move. He liked it, and it felt right.

Kili's pondering of his thoughts was stopped when Fili asked him a question."Have you finished cleaning your blades, brother?"

Kili suddenly went very red. At the word 'brother,' Kili's mind cleared and he realized the thoughts he had just been thinking about his older brother were not quite platonic. At all. "N-no, I haven't yet finished." He crawled off of his brother, disappointedly, and went back to his blades. "Are your swords sufficiently sharpened yet?"

Fili was also red, though Kili didn't notice because he wasn't looking. "No, I've not finished either. We had better hurry; the training area won't be free for much longer."

Kili nodded, noticing the slight tension with which Fili spoke. He searched his mind for another topic to discuss. "You know I'm going to crush you in our duel, yes?"

Fili snorted, slightly mocking. "As if, little brother. You forget to whom you speak."

"I'm not forgetting anything. You, on the other hand, are getting a bit old. Are you sure you remember how to use those swords? Just remember, don't hold the sharp side. That's the part you're supposed to try to stick into me."

"I'm only 4 years older than you, KiKi." Fili was amused at his brother's antics. He was glad his brother didn't seem to notice the sudden change that had come upon him. He was constantly calling him brother to remind himself that he couldn't think those things, and he had just called him KiKi to make sure he remembered that this was his baby brother. He was supposed to protect and care for him, not fall in love wi-

What in the name of the Brown Cow of Mars had he just been thinking?! In love?! With Kili?! He had only just realized that he was at all attracted to the boy; he couldn't already be in love with him!

Luckily, his thoughts were interrupted when Kili continued their banter. "What is this, Fili?" Not so luckily, he continued the banter by reaching over and running his fingers through a strand of Fili's hair. Fili swore his heart stopped beating and his lungs refused to draw breath for a moment, but he kept his cool.

"What is what, little brother?" Fili thought he might have seen Kili turn red at the words little brother, but it must have been his imagination. Kili wouldn't blush around Fili. He had no reason.

Kili was indeed blushing, for, though he loved the feel of Fili's hair beneath his finger tips, he hadn't meant to actually stroke it, nor allow his hand to linger. Still, he played it off with a smirk as he stared into his brother's eyes. "Why, I do believe it is a gray hair. Perhaps we should get you a pair of dulled blades, just in case your eyesight is fading as badly as your hair color."

Fili laughed and smirked with amusement. "I'll admit, brother, you are getting better at this. Your tongue is sharp at last. But you'd best be careful, little one, for my swords are just a tad bit more so."

Kili nodded. "Yes, but only a tad. Perhaps that wouldn't be true if you'd continue your task, old man. Have you forgotten what you're doing already? Durin's beard, you truly are  getting old. Mother doesn't even have any grays yet, you know, and she is older than Uncle Thorin."

Fili flushed red, but he returned to his task and replied all the same. "Yes, Mother is older than Thorin, and Mother has no grays, but you are forgetting something, KiKi."

Kili had returned to cleaning his blades, but had remained facing his brother. "No, I can't be forgetting something, I'm not old like you." 

Fili shrugged and said no more, knowing his silence would bug Kili until he was practically begging Fili to continue his thought. Several minutes passed, and Kili was having an internal debate with himself. On one hand he desperately wanted to know what it was Fili had been thinking. The boys were brothers, they were close, and they kept no secrets from each other (*snort*), but they could not read each other's minds. Kili liked knowing his brother so well.

On the other hand, Kili knew Fili was staying quiet because it bothered him. Fili wanted him to ask, to plead, and to beg. All dwarves are stubborn, but Kili was even more so when it came to his brother. His pride kept his mouth shut. For now.

Neither boy spoke again, and when they had finished their tasks, they went to the practice field and began their duel. The whole time Kili was sending Fili verbal jabs about him being old, whilst File returned the banter saying that his baby brother was too young and inexperienced. He made sure not to comment about Kili's lack of beard, because he knew that would actually hurt his feelings.

But as Fili was thinking about his brother's nearly bare jaw, he couldn't help himself but to imagine running his lips across it, then down his neck, sucking his collar bone, and drawing beautiful moans from Kili's li-

Fili immediately forced his mind to stop, completely shocked by his thoughts. He was so bewildered that he was caught off guard and Kili managed to disarm him, force him to his knees, and place his sword up against the front of his neck. Kili was standing behind him, one hand on his shoulder and the other holding the blade that was lightly touching the skin.

Kili was pressed up against Fili's back, not entirely on purpose, but not entirely by accident, meaning his waist was right up against his shoulders, and his groin was in between his elder brother's shoulder blades. Kili tried not to notice, but it wasn't quite working, and it took all his effort not to get an errection right then (dwarves can get errections, right? I mean, I'm just assuming, based off of what I know from the reproduction process). 

Fili, on the other hand, could think of nothing but his brother up against him. He only wished that he was turned around or Kili was in front of him instead of behind. After all, he was already on his knees, and they were just the right height so that it would be perfect for-

Seriously, Fili! What in Middle Earth was his mind doing? He needed to get his mind out of the gutter. He tried to find something else to focus on, like the fact that he had just lost a duel to his little brother. Yet he couldn't bring himself to care. Besides, thinking about the fact that he lost just made him think of why he lost. The reason he lost was because he was distracted by his dirty thoughts. Dirty thoughts about Kili, his brother, his really hot, funny, hot-headed, dreamboat of a brother, about whom he had no shortage of dirty thoughts at the moment. He was at the point where the only reason he was stopping those crazed fantasies was because his brother would no doubt spot his boner and then he'd be found out.

Kili, who had noticed Fili hadn't said a word yet, leant over so his mouth was next to his head, he lips gently brushing over his brother's ear. "What's distracting you, Fili?"

The blond shivered at the question, and at the feeling of Kili's lips on his ear, the closest thing to a kiss he was likely to ever get. He turned his head slightly, just so he could feel the brunette's soft, plump lips run across the skin of his ear down to the lobe and the spot under it. The movement was subtle, and Fili did it in a way so as not to arouse suspicion.  

Yet Kili was still aroused, just by something other than suspicion. The feeling of his brother's skin against his lips brought up desires he had managed to contain before when he was sitting atop Fili's waist. He had to make a conscious effort to keep breathing so his breath wouldn't hitch. He couldn't let Fili know of his thoughts, his feelings, his desires. He knew it wouldn't end well if his brother discovered the thoughts flowing through his mind. He didn't fight them as Fili did. He merely fought his physical reaction to the thoughts.

"I asked you a question, Fili." Kili whispered, lightly dragging his lips back up to his brother's ear, doing so in a way that hopefully wasn't as sensual as it had felt to him. "What is going through your mind? What could have distracted you enough that I could catch you off guard?"

Fili took in a deep breath, forcing himself to forget about the heat pooling in his lower area. "What, you don't think you could have done it if I was focusing? Where is your self-confidence, Kili?"

Kili chuckled against Fili's ear, the vibrations enough to have made Fili weak in the knees had he been standing. "No one can beat you when you're focusing, Fili, except, perhaps, Thorin. Your skill is too great to be bested so quickly by a younger, less experienced opponent like myself."

Fili was already red, but he became a deep crimson at his brother's compliment. "Why, thank you, brother dear. And you are, partially, right."

"Partially?" Kili's breath tickled the sensitive skin of his ear, and he nodded in response to Kili's question, pleased at the friction he had caused. Kili was pleased too, but he managed to contain himself.

"You are wrong in that, though I am a skilled warrior, you are also greatly skilled, and there are numerous times that you could have, and would have, beaten me had luck not been on my side." Kili hummed his appreciation of Fili's words. "But you were right when you said I was distracted. I was distracted, greatly so, which is why it must have been much easier for you to best me this time." Fili's voice was back to a whisper as he was finishing what he had said. He was anticipating the follow-up question and considering what his answer would be.

"And what," whispered Kili, his lips still against the blond's ear, over-stimulating the area, "were you so distracted about, dear Fili?"  Fili was internally pleased when Kili called him 'dear Fili,' but he knew it to be merely a term of endearment for his brother, and nothing more.

Fili turned his head and looked up into Kili's eyes. In doing so, he managed to get Kili's lips to drag over his skin, from ear to chin (so close to his lips it practically hurt, to be so close but so far away), until Kili pulled away ever so slightly so their skin no longer made direct contact. Fili considered how to answer his brother's question as he searched his face. He saw no lack of love in the brunette's expression, but he doubted it was the kind of love he wanted in that moment. 

Fili let out a sigh before making eye contact with his brother. "Kili?"

The dwarven archer stared into the blue orbs he knew so well. "Yes?" came his whispered reply.

Fili hesitated, then boldly spoke:

"Do I really have gray hairs?"

Kili remained still for a moment before he stood up straight, booming with laughter. He removed the sword from Fili's neck, allowing him to stand and turn to face him. Fili smiled at his younger brother, though on the inside he wondered if he should have come clean and told him the truth.

Kili shook his head. "No, FiFi, you haven't any gray hairs. I was only teasing," he said, still laughing. Then after a moment, he continued. "On that topic, what was it you thought I forgot earlier?"

Fili gave his brother a mischievous smirk. "Well, brother, you were right when you said that Mother hasn't any gray hairs, and that she is older than Uncle Thorin. What you've forgotten is..." Fili made Kili wait a moment in suspense before he finished, "Thorin, who is younger than Mother, does have gray hairs, and he is a man." 

Kili looked endearingly confused. "So?"

Fili chuckled. "So, our family has a history of the males graying early. Kili," Fili stepped forward, cupping his brother's cheeks with his hands and staring into his eyes with with a look of sincere concern plastered on his face, "if we aren't careful..., we could end up graying very early, like Thorin. Maybe even before we reach 100 years old." Fili released his brother's cheek with one hand and used it to stroke a strand of Kili's hair. "Think about it, Kili. This glorious brown mop of yours could become gray as an old man's before you've even been an adult for 50 years." Suddenly, Fili's eyes widened in shock, and Kili began to worry, though he quite liked how close his brother was standing to him. He liked the feel of Fili's hand on his cheek, of his fingers in his hair. "Kili..."

The brunette gulped. "What is it, Fili?" True concern showed on his face, which almost made Fili feel guilty for a moment for what he was about to do. Almost. For only a moment. 

"Kili... what if... what if you gray...before you've even grown a full beard?" As he spoke, he voice was full of (fake) horror and his eyes showed fear for his brother. He even threw in a loud gulp.

Kili scoffed, feigning anmoyance, but in reality he was trying not to smile at his brother's antics. He was sensitive about his lack of a beard, but he knew Fili was only jesting and meant no offense or ill by it. "Shut up, Fili."

The blond smiled. He was happy his joke had been received well. But more than that, he was internally pleased that Kili hadn't taken a step back or tried to remove Fili's hands from his cheek or hair. He seemed perfectly fine with the contact. His heart stirred with gladness, and he tried not to let himself hope that Kili could ever feel the same way.

Lost in his thoughts, Fili didn't realize when his fingers had subconsciously begun to play with the strand of Kili's hair, or when the thumb of his other hand began rubbing the smallest of circles against Kili's cheek. Kili didn't notice either, perfectly content to just stand there, staring into his brother's blue orbs.

Suddenly, Fili came to himself. Clearing his throat he pulled away from his brother, going to grab his swords from where they'd been knocked from his hands earlier (to cover up his sudden withdrawal from Kili). "It's good to hear my hair is as blond as ever. You've set my mind at rest, brother. Shall we duel again, now that I am free from distractions?"

Kili nodded, not saying anything out of fear that his voice would betray the disappointed, empty feeling he had when he was no longer touching Fili. He got into position, and they began to duel again. This time, Fili won easily, because Kili was distracted. The thought of Fili's hand on his cheek and his fingers in his hair had occupied his thoughts.

Fili had gotten Kili into the same position he had been in before, this time with Kili on his knees and Fili behind him, sword on his neck. Remembering what Kili had done and said to him, Fili leaned over and whispered in his brother's ear, his lips not-so-lightly grazing the area of Kili's ear. "It seems you are the distracted one this time, brother dear. Care to explain?"

It was a long day.


	2. Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili has a nightmare. It's freaking adorable, if I do say so myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of the "violence." I'm not sure it's really all that detailed, but I wanted to be on the safe side and warn you guys. Enjoy?

Kili was running. His legs were pumping faster with every second, his breath labored and heart thundering. For a moment, he paused, listening, trying to figure out in which direction to go. Then he heard it.

"Kili!" The terrified screams of his brother hit him like a wave. Instantly he turned to the left and continued running. "Kili," came another agonized cry.

"I'm coming, Fili! I'm coming!" Kili called to his brother, pushing himself to race faster and faster. His sword was already drawn, and he couldn't wait to stick it in the filth that had taken his brother.

Finally, he reached his brother. He fought the orcs that surrounded him, slashing and jabbing with his sword. He slaughtered every one, an intense hatred for the creatures before him pumping through his veins. 

He finished slaying the orcs and turned to Fili..., only to find him laying on the ground by a tree, not moving. "No..." Kili whispered in panic as he rushed to his brother. "No, no, no, no. Fili, please don't be dead." Kili knelt down next to his brother's broken and bleeding body, a tear escaping his eye. He placed a hand against his neck, feeling for any sign of pulse or respatory. He felt both, but they were weak.

"Fili, I swear, if you die on me..., when I'm so close to saving you... Please don't leave me, Fili. Please." Kili's words were cut off by a silent sob racking through his body.

Fili's eyes flickered open. "Brother..."

Kili had to force himself not to hurl himself at him in a hug. "Fili! Don't worry. You'll be fine. I can get you home, and they can fix you up, and we'll go on adventures and reclaim Erebor from the Dragon like we're always saying. You've just got to stay awake, okay?"

Fili shook his head slightly. "I can't, KiKi. I'm so tired."

Kili forced down a sob. "Just stay awake a little longer, Fili. Please, for me?" 

Fili nodded. "I'll try, for you. Always, for you." The blond smiled a small, sad, smile. "I love you, Kili."

Kili felt another few tears slip down his cheeks. "I love you, too, Fili." Somehow, he knew that Fili was trying to say goodbye. "I know it hurts. I know you're tired, but you can't sleep just yet. Please stay with me, just a little longer." Kili took one of Fili's hands in his. "Please don't leave me, Fili. Not yet."

Fili reached up his free hand and wiped away his brother's tears. "I wouldn't ever leave you, Kili. I'll always be with you. In here." Fili lowered his hand from his brother's cheek to his chest, just above his heart.

Kili clasped that hand with his, holding it in place above his heart. "I don't want you to just be here, Fili. It's not enough. I love you. I love you so much. Please, don't die. Not now."

Fili's eyes filled with tears at the sadness he had brought upon his brother. "I love you, too, Kili. But I'm afraid I haven't much say in the matter." Kili choked on a sob, and it lodged in his throat. Another tear slipped out.

Leaving the one hand on Kili's chest, Fili moved his other to wipe away the tear. A desire came over him, and he used his hand to cup his brother's head. He pulled him down and placed a slow, loving kiss on his lips. "I've always wanted to do that. I just had to, this one time. It was my last chance."

Kili gave his brother a watery, tremulous smile. "I always wanted to do that, too." He closed his eyes and leaned over, placing his forehead against his brother's. "I don't want our first to be our last, Fili."

The blond started to chuckle, but he stopped from the pain. "Then kiss me again, Kili."

Kili nodded, his head still against his brother's, and brought his lips to Fili's. This kiss was longer, and filled with love. Toward the end, Fili stopped moving his lips against Kili's. Kili had an idea of why, but he didn't want to pull away to find he was right. He did so anyway, just to see. What he found broke his heart. 

Fili lay there, eyes closed, lips parted, a look of peaceful content upon his face. Tears raced from Kili's eyes. He didn't want to believe it. He leaned back down and placed another kiss on the blond's lips. He pulled away when there was no reaction from the corpse below him. 

Sobs overwhelmed the brunette as his fingers traced the contours of his brother's face. "Fili. Fili! No, please. Don't leave me! Not now. Fili, please! FILI!" He cried and screamed, shaking his brother's shoulders slightly.

Suddenly something behind him grabbed him and began pulling him away. Kili struggled, but couldn't find the strength to resist for very long. "FILI!" He screamed, not in hopes that he would hear him or awaken, for that hope was gone, choked out of him through tears and sorrow. He screamed his brother's name from the sheer agony of being separated from him.

As whatever had grabbed him through him against a tree, he couldn't find it in him to fight anymore. He saw it was an orc, one of the filthy creatures thst took his brother from him. Hatred rose within him and he spit at the creatures face. It roared in outrage and hit him in the face.

Orcs were suddenly coming through the trees, heading over to Fili's body. He didn't realize what they were doing until it started. Orcs were flesh-eaters. 

Kili watched in horror as they began to devour his brother's body. "Fili! Fili, no! No! Get away from him! FILI!" The orc that had grabbed him raised his sword, aiming for Kili's throat. The sword moved swiftly and-

 

"Fili!" Kili bolted up in bed. His breaths were coming in pants and his heart was racing. He was too terrified to notice the tears running down his face. Still panting, he began to take in his surroundings. He had barely realized where he was (on his bed in the room he shared with his brother) when he felt the bed shift under added weight. 

Kili whirled around, raising his hands to attack whatever vile thing had come to attack him this time. He swung his fist, but his arm was caught. Kili felt himself being pushed back on the bed, his arms pinned to the mattress above his head.

Kili quickly searched the face above him and relief instantly flooded him as he realized it was Fili. "Oh, Fili, thank God!" He sighed with relief, taking in his brother's worried face.

"What happened, Kili? I woke up to you calling my name. What's wrong?" Fili searched his brother's face, wondering if it was safe to release his arms. Either way, he found he didn't want to. He could probably use his current condition as an excuse to remain as he was, straddling his brother's waist, pinning his arms above his head, leaning over him, staring at his (tear-stained) face, and searching his (terrified) eyes. He wasn't sure if that was okay or not, but he wasn't the type to waste an opportunity. 

"I'm sorry I woke you, Fili. It was... it was just a nightmare." Kili stumbled over the last bit as memories of Fili saying he loved him and kissing him flooded his mind. 

Fili cocked his head, and, unhappily, removed himself from his brother, sitting next to him. Kili sat up, his shoulder brushing Fili's. "What was it about?"

Kili's head whipped around, and he found his face to be only a couple inches from Fili's. "Huh?"

Fili chuckled. "Your nightmare, silly. What was it about?"

Kili looked down into his lap. "Oh. Um, well, you were in it, and, um, I was in it, obviously. We weren't here. We were out some where in a forest." Kili stopped there. He wasn't sure how to continue. And he wasn't sure how much of it he should tell.

Fili nodded his head. He raised a hand and wiped away some of the tears on Kili's cheeks, unwittedly doing just what he had done in the dream. "Go on."

Kili sighed and closed his eyes. "You had been taken by orcs. At first I was running, searching the forest for you. Then I found you. I killed all the orcs, but when I turned to look at you, you were just laying on the ground covered in blood." Fili's eyes flooded with sympathy as Kili sighed ruggedly. "I went over to you and knelt down next to you. Then, um..." Kili paused again, thinking through his words carefully.

"Then what happened? Come on, Kili, it helps to talk about it." Fili scooted a little closer to his brother, their sides pressed up against each other. He put a hand on his shoulder and began rubbing it soothingly. Kili gulped before nodding.

"Your eyes opened, and, um, I tried to tell you it was going to be okay and that you were going to be fine, but we both knew you weren't. Then, um..., you said goodbye, and you said that you'd always be with me in my heart and that you'd never leave me and that you loved me..., and then you, um..." Fili didn't say anything this time, but waited patiently for his younger brother to continue. "Then you died." Kili swallowed loudly, and glanced nervously at his brother.

Fili searched his brother's face. "Is that when you woke up?" He wiped another tear from Kili's face as he shook his head. "What happened next, then?"

Kili sighed again. "I cried, a lot, and I begged you to wake up, but you didn't.  An orc grabbed me from behind and dragged me away from you. Then a bunch of other Orcs came from the surrounding trees, and they... they, um..." Kili choked on his tears, and sobbed. Turning, he wrapped his arms around Fili's neck, clutching at his bare shoulders and crying into his neck.

Fili wrapped his arms around his brother, rubbing soothing circles into Kili's back. "Sh, Kili. It's okay. It was just a dream. Everything's fine." Kili shook his head, nuzzling Fili's neck with his nose.

"Don't say that. Its not fine. You haven't even heard the worst part. It's not fine at all." It was hard for Kili to speak through his tears, and he choked on the words.

Fili pulled out of the hug and cupped Kili's cheeks. "Then tell me, KiKi. It'll make it better, I promise." He rubbed little circles into Kili's cheeks with his thumbs, wiping away the tears that continued to stream from his brother's eyes.

"Theyateyou." Kili spit out the words like they were poison on his tongue. He ran the words together, to the point where Fili couldn't understand them.

"They what?" An especially painful sob racked through Kili's body, and Fili pulled him back into a hug, whispering comforting words in his ear.

After a few moments, Kili had calmed down enough to continue. "They ate you, Fili." The blond's eyes widened at this and he pulled away enough to look Kili in the eyes. His arms were still around Kili's waist and Kili's arms were around his neck. He searched his brother's face, seeing the horrified, broken look that was there. "They ate you, right in front of me. Ripping chunks of you from your bones with their claws and their teeth and shoving you in their mouth like you were naught but a slaughtered pig. I struggled and fought and I yelled at them to stop but they just devoured you like Bombur devours cheese at supper." Kili sighed, another couple of tears slipping down his cheeks. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Fili's, whose eyes remained on his face. "I couldn't stop it. I couldn't save your life, and then I couldn't even save your dead, lifeless corpse! I failed you, Fili. I failed you..."

"That was when they finally killed me," he continued. "After I watched you die, and then I watched you be devoured by orcs, then they finally killed me. Then, they finally let me die."

"Oh, Kili... you didn't fail me." Kili's eyes snapped open and he searched his brother's eyes, not removing his forehead from Fili's. "You were with me, in the end, weren't you?" Kili's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Fili elaborated. "At the very end when I closed my eyes and breathed my last, you were there, right? I wasn't alone when I died, was I?"

Kili shook his head. "No, I was there." Kili's cheeks turned red, the reason lost to Fili but not to him. The image of kissing Fili as he died was running through his mind like a broken record. "I was there."

Fili smiled. "Then that's all I could have asked for. When I finally do die, all I want is for you to be there with me. That's all I need. I don't care how I die. I don't care what happens to me after. All I need when my end comes is for you to be there with me. You didn't fail me, Kili. You gave me exactly what I needed."

Fili pulled Kili in again, feeling the brunette bury his head in the crook of his neck, nuzzling the space with his nose. He rubbed circles into his back with one hand, and the fingers of the other traced lines up and down his spine, sending shivers through his body.

"Thank you, Fili," Kili mumbled against his neck. A shiver ran though him as Kili's lips brushed against his skin.

"Anytime..., brother. Anytime." Fili hugged him a little tighter, not wanting to let go, but knowing he would have to eventually.

They stayed like that for a few more minutes, but when a 6th of an hour had passed, Fili knew it was time to pull away. "Come on, KiKi, you need to get some more rest." Kili jerked away way from Fili, staring at him, terror evident in his eyes.

"You mean, I have to go back to sleep?" He looked about ready to panic, and sympathy rose within Fili.

"Sleep is good for you, Kili, even if it shows you things you don't want to see." 

Kili shook his head quickly. "I don't want to have another nightmare, Fili. I couldn't stand it if I saw you die again. What if it's worse this time?"

The blond sighed. "That's why you have to go back to sleep, KiKi. So that you can have a good dream to replace the nightmare." 

Kili nodded and Fili stood from the bed. Before he could take a step away, the brunette spoke again. "Could you..." Kili gulped before tremulously continuing. "Could you, um, stay with me?" Kili glanced up and when he saw Fili's raised eyebrows, he quickly rushed out, "Just until I fall asleep." Fili didn't move, and Kili looked up at his face, searching his eyes. "Please?"

Fili gave him a small smile. "Of ourse, Kili. Anything for you." He climbed back onto the bed. Kili lay down and Fili lay next to him. The brunette turned on his side, facing away from Fili, and the blond decided to do something bold. He shuffled closer to the body of his brother and snaked an arm around his waist.

Kili tensed at first and Fili was afraid he'd done something wrong. Then, a second later, Kili snuggled into Fili's chest, pressing his back against him. It was hot in the Blue Mountains that time of year, and the two dwarves had gone to bed in only their trousers, leaving their chests bare. Fili relished the feeling of Kili's bare skin pressed against his, and he tightened his arm around his younger brother.

Kili spoke, in a whisper, so quiet that Fili almost didn't hear him. "I love you, Fili."

"I love you, too." Fili's reply was honest enough, but his meaning was not. When he said it, he knew Kili would interpret it as brotherly love, the kind they had always shared. But in his heart, Fili knew that wasn't the way he meant it.

The two fell asleep like that, Kili wrapped in Fili's arms, snuggled into the blond's chest. And when he woke up, he was pleased to find that Fili hadn't stayed with him till he fell asleep. He had stayed with him the whole night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it a good idea to warn you, or not necessary? I always struggle with the whole warnings and ratings parts of writing, so feedback is especially helpful for this.


	3. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Return of the King!
> 
> Or, the one in which Thorin comes back to the Blue Mountains to find something is a bit off with his nephews.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Matchmaker!Thorin is precious.
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter goes to waterlilyblue for being first commenter and kudos giver. Thanks, love.

Ever since that day in the training quarters, the relationship between the brothers had become more strained. They both knew they felt things for their brother, but they didn't know their feelings were mutual. On top of that, while Kili didn't care much if others would accept incest between them, it was a constant worry for Fili. After all, Kili was different in so many ways. Many made fun of him, and while homosexuality was considered normal and was accepted by dwarves, incest was basically unheard of amongst them. Fili worried about what would happen to Kili should he ever return his feelings and others find out.

Before that day when they dueled, they told each other everything. There were no secrets, there was complete and total trust, and there was no worry or tension between them. Now, they each kept a huge secret, they did not trust the other enough to tell them and for them to react well, and tension and worry was nearly all there was between the two.

It had been nearly 6 months since the brothers realized they had feelings for each other, and in that time their feelings only grew. They did what they could to hide it, but that was hard when they were brothers, best friends, and roommates. They had to change in front of each other. Before, it had been no big deal. Now, each was shy and blushed nonstop the whole time.

Finally, Thorin had returned and the two brothers were glad. Thorin was a difficult man to get along with because of his abrasive ways, but he had a soft spot for his nephews and the three got along quite well. Thorin had been back in the Blue Mountains for about a week and the only time he had had away from the boys was at night as everyone slept and when he had gone to visit Balin and Dwalin once for a couple hours.

Now, Kili was off practicing archery, and since neither Kili nor Thorin really had much interest in it, they had elected to stay behind. Kili didn't mind, because he wanted a break from his beloved brother. He loved him, now more than ever, but it was exhausting being around him, always on his toes, always alert and on guard.

Fili and Thorin were simply sitting together on a couch, Thorin reading a book and Fili cleaning a knife he always kept in his hair as a precaution. Suddenly, Thorin forcefully closed the book, took the dagger from Fili and set it on a table. "Talk."

Fili's eyes scrunched together in confusion. "I thought you liked the quiet, Uncle. Of what would you like to speak?"

Thorin gave his nephew a stern look. "Something's happened while I was away. Something between you and your brother. What happened, Fili? Did you two have a falling out or something?"

Fili's eyes widened and he swallowed audibly. He really did not want to tell his uncle the truth, but he knew Thorin would be able to tell if he lied. "I don't want to tell you, Uncle, but you can rest assured, we've had no fight nor quarrel."

Thorin sighed. "Do you really think I would give up so easily? You two are my nephews and, save your mother, you are the only family I've got. I know I'm not the best at showing it, but I care for the both of you. I can tell something has changed. I didn't think you would have fought, but I wasn't entirely sure what else it could be. Tell me, Fili, let me help you."

Fili shook his head. "Uncle, if you wish to help, you'll allow me to try and forget."

Thorin didn't move. He only sat there, staring at his nephew. Something wasn't making sense. He was missing something. Suddenly he made a connection. He wasn't sure how he felt about it just yet, but he thought he knew what was going on. "I've seen the way you look at him, Fili." The young blond jerked his head around to face Thorin, eyes wide and lips parted. "I've seen your eyes gaze at him when you think he's not looking."

Fili gulped, his mouth suddenly going dry. "I've no idea of what you are speaking, Uncle." Fili's breaths became slow and labored under the panic that had come to him.

Thorin chuckled and shook his head. "Don't even try it, lad, I know when you are lying."

Fili became very anxious, and it showed on his face, his eyes, his body. If Thorin knew, could Kili know? And if Thorin knew, what did he think of it?

The raven-haired dwarf saw the change in Fili and wished to sooth his worries. "Easy there, Fili. I've made no opinion yet, if that's what you're worried about. And if your fear is Kili, I don't think he knows yet."

The blond relaxed slightly, but not entirely. If Thorin had yet to make an opinion, there was still time for him to decide to disapprove. And for him to decide, Fili was likely to have to have a conversation. About that. With Thorin, of all people. He sighed and nodded, resigning himself to whatever was to come.

"I need you to be honest with me, Fili. I can't help you, and I can't form a true, honest opinion, if you aren't honest. So will you tell me the truth?" Fili nodded and Thorin smiled (as much as Thorin the Stoic can smile). "Good. First things first, do you or do you not have romantic feelings toward Kili?"

Fili took a moment to swallow. Thorin had seemed to already know the answer to that question. Perhaps he was just trying to make sure he knew what he knew and try to rid himself of assumptions. "Yes, Uncle, I have... romantic... feelings for Kili."

Thorin nodded, glad he now knew for certain what was going on with his nephew. "When did you first realize it?"

Fili sighed. "About 6 months ago, give or take a few days." Thorin's eyebrows shot up.

"You've had feelings for your brother for 6 months, spend nearly all your time around him, and you haven't exploded yet? My, my, lad, you're a tougher man than I in the emotions department." Thorin's statement brought a small smile to Fili's lips, but not a large enough smile to ease himself of the conversation. "And what happened 6 months ago to make you realize?"

Fili sighed and told Thorin the story, leaving out the dirtier thoughts he had had, but including all else, especially the part when Kili's stomach was pressed against his back and when Kili's lips had grazed his ear. When he finished the story, he swallowed and looked at Thorin out of the corner of his eye. Thorin's expression was of amusement and fondness towards his crazy nephews. "I'm not that gray, nephew," he said indignantly. 

Fili chuckled. "Whatever you have to tell yourself, Uncle."

Thorin smiled a small smile and got back to the topic at hand. "So what's the problem, Fili? So you have romantic feelings for Kili. So what? Just tell him and be done."

Fili looked at his Uncle as though he had just said he wanted plastic surgery to make him look like an elf. "Are you insane, Uncle? I can't tell him that! He doesn't feel the same way. It would ruin our friendship. He might never talked to me again, and if he does it will be a hard, strained conversation that won't last long. He's my brother, Thorin. I can't lose him. I'd rather spend eternity with him, loving him in secret, than tell him, get rejected, and spend eternity separated from him. When I said I would not even go to Erebor without him, I meant it completely."

"Aye, you did, Fili, and he said the feeling was mutual. Even if he didn't return your feelings, which I'm not so sure of, he wouldn't let it come between you."

Fili snorted and shook his head. Then something Thorin said struck his mind. "What do you mean, you aren't so sure my feelings aren't reciprocated?"

Thorin chuckled. He knew that statement would catch his attention. "I mean, what gave it away for you is the looks you've been giving him when he's not looking. He's been doing the exact same to you. And think about it. The tension, the change between you, is a two way thing. It isn't just that you are tense around him. He is tense in the same way around you. Why should that be if it is not that he returns your feelings?"

Fili opened his mouth to reply, but he shut it again when he realized he didn't know what to say. Thorin chuckled and continued. "Think about it, Fili. Before you realized your feelings, did the two of you often say you loved each other, in a brotherly manner, of course?"

Fili didn't have to think to answer that one. "Yes."

"And who often initiated it? You or Kili?"

"We both did, probably equal amounts, Uncle."

"Have you said that you love each other since?"

Fili sighed. "Only once, Uncle, about 2 1/2 months ago. He had initiated, but it felt so wrong to me to say to him that I love him, in a brotherly fashion, and mean it another way. It is the most cowardly way to make a confession. Accordingly, I've not initiated since, and neither has he."

Thorin smiled. "Perhaps he has not initiated because he had the same thoughts about saying it."

"I don't know, Uncle," he said defeatedly. "Why would Kili love me, of all people? And when would it have begun? The same time as me? Before? After? As much as I want to believe he loves me back, I can't bring myself to carry such false hope within me."

Thorin sighed. Somehow, he would get his nephews together. Somehow.

 

Thorin was going to go to visit Balin again, and his nephews were to walk with him. Suddenly he had an idea. "Actually, Fili, if you don't mind, I'd like it if I could walk only with Kili this time. I've had some time with you all to myself. I think it only fair to give Kili the same treatment." He glanced over at Kili, raising an eyebrow mischievously.

Fili looked terrified. "Uncle..." He said slowly. But before he could say another word, Thorin spoke.

"You needn't worry, lad." He pulled Kili to him and put an arm around his shoulder, turning to face his other nephew. "I don't bite, and I won't break the poor boy. You can trust your uncle, Fili." He said the last part while giving the blond a sort of knowing look.

Fili didn't seem to be okay with it at all, but one look at Kili's confused face and he knew he didn't really have much of a choice. He sighed in defeat. "Alright. Have fun. But not too much fun. I didn't have fun during my alone time with Thorin."

Thorin chuckled and said farewell to his blond nephew, and he and Kili set off for Balin's dwelling. They walked a bit in silence, Kili humming the tune to Misty Mountains. Thorin decided to go ahead and speak.

"Kili, tell me something honestly, alright?"

"Of course, Uncle," came the reply.

"... Do you have romantic feelings for Fili?"

Kili hesitated for less than a second before responding. "Yes, Uncle. I have romantic feelings for Fili." He wasn't going to hide how he felt from his Uncle. He was used to being different from others and he was used to people disapproving or disliking him for various reasons.

"Strong feelings?"

Kili glanced over at his Uncle with a questioning look. "Yes, Uncle, strong feelings."

Thorin nodded his head. "Good."

Kili's eyes shot up in astonishment. "Good? Does that mean you approve?"

Thorin nodded. "Aye, it does. Why haven't you told him?"

The brunette stopped walking. He was silent for a moment, then he sighed. "Because what if I'm wrong?"

"Wrong? What do you mean, wrong?"

"What if... what if, though I have feelings for him now, they don't last because he isn't actually my soul mate? I'll have hurt our friendship for nothing, for something temporary."

Thorin thought for a moment. At first, it seemed like a valid thought, but then he knew it wasn't. "It's love, Kili. I believe he is your soul mate. I don't think it is temporary or fleeting or false. It's unnatural for brothers to get along as well as you two do, but soul mates? That could explain it. There are other reasons, too, that I believe your love is real, but I can't tell you those reasons unless you tell Fili first, for... other reasons that do not concern myself."

The two walked in silence for a while before Kili nodded and spoke. "I will tell him when we return. I'm not afraid of my feelings. If you think they are true and lasting, then I have nothing to fear. Even if he rejects me, Fili is my brother. He won't turn away from me completely. And I don't like keeping this secret. I can feel the tension it causes between us."

Thorin smiled a true smile. He was very proud of his youngest nephew. "Tell you what, I don't think I should be there when you tell him. It should be just between the two of you. When we reach the dwelling of Balin, I'll stay, but you go ahead and walk back. I'll be here for several hours, so you two will have plenty of time to talk or whatever."

Kili smiled slightly. "Thank you, Uncle. You sure you'll be all right to walk back alone?" The last part was merely teasing and Thorin laughed a bit.

"I don't know, my dear nephew, the dark is a bit scary. But for you, I'm sure I can manage." Kili chuckled and the two walked in silence until they reached the dwelling of Balin. "This is where you turn back, nephew. I'll make my visit today extra long, just in case you two... never mind. But I will be here for many hours. No doubt Balin will want more details of my recent journeys."

Kili smiled. "Alright, Uncle. I'll see you when you return." With that, he turned around and headed back to his home to speak with Fili.

Thorin smiled as he watched his nephew walk away. Perhaps this would work out well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter than the first two, as are the two following this one. But chapter 6 is going to be longer. And important. 
> 
> Just thought I'd give you something to look forward to...
> 
> Oh, and I live for feedback, by the way. Even if it's criticism, just let me know what you think. I write for my own entertainment, but if I'm going to stick it on the internet, I should probably endeavor to make it enjoyable to as many as I can.


	4. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuun!  
> Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for: I am proud to present to you...
> 
> A chapter!  
> Of relative importance!
> 
> Did I mention the love confession part? Cause that's in there.

Kili reached his home and went inside. He found Fili sitting against the wall with his knees to his chest, hugging his legs with a fearful expression on his face. "Fili, what's wrong?"

The brunette hurried and knelt down in front of his brother, taking his hands in his. They were clammy and Fili looked no less terrified now that Kili was here. "Are you ill, brother?" He reached up a hand and felt Fili's cheeks, forehead, and neck. He didn't feel especially hot. "You don't feel of a fever. What has happened, Fili? Tell me."

The blond finally looked up into his brother's eyes and seemed to only just then realize that he was there. "Kili! Oh, um, hello. Are you and Thorin back already?"

The brunette's eyebrows came together from confusion. "Thorin is not yet back. He sent me back early because he was going to be staying long at Balin's dwelling. Are you alright, Fili?"

The elder brother nodded his head and shakily stood to his feet. He had been so worried that Thorin would tell Kili of his feelings, but, judging by the fact that Kili was acting no different toward him, his secret was safe. He began to calm down a bit and his hands stopped sweating. "I'm fine brother. I was just thinking of something, but it is no longer important or relevant. Did you enjoy your walk with Uncle Thorin?"

Kili smiled. "I did. It was... eye opening. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something, Fili." 

The blond's eyes widened, but he kept his cool. "Of course, brother. Should we sit or stand for this talk?"

Kili thought about that for a moment. If Fili was completely shocked, which was likely, it would be good for him to be sitting so he couldn't fall. But if Fili was upset, Kili wanted to be able to put distance between them, quickly, or even be able to run away should need arise. If Fili were to fall, Kili could always just catch him, so he made his decision. "No, standing here is fine. It isn't likely to be a very long talk."

"Alright," said Fili, and he waited for his brother to talk.

"I've been keeping a secret from you, Fili." When Kili got no great reaction, he continued. "I don't like keeping this secret. I want to get it off my chest. I want- no, I need to tell you the truth."

Fili was concerned for his brother and it showed on his face. "What is it, Kili? You can tell me anything." The blond internally winced at the ironic hypocrisy of the statement.

Kili took a deep breath. "I love you."

Fili's eyes widened. "What?"

The brunette gulped audibly. "I love you."

Fili felt hope rise within him, but he didn't want to make a false assumption. "I love you too, Kili. You are my brother, after all."

Kili sighed. "I don't think you understand, Fili. I love you. In a romantic-ish way. I don't mean the brotherly, platonic way." His voice was nearly a whisper as he spoke the words, but Fili heard every one.

The blond grabbed Kili's forearms just below the wrist and shoved him against the wall, pinning his arms next to his head. "What. Did you. Just. Say?" His face was hard, his eyes were steel, and his grip on Kili's arms would probably leave a bruise.

The brunette gulped. "I love you, Fili. I really do."

Fili cocked his head to the side. "And why are you telling me this now, of all times?"

"W-well, I was walking with Thorin and he asked if I had feelings for you (I guess he had noticed I was acting strange or something), and I told him yes because it was the truth, and he asked me why I hadn't told you yet, and I said that it was because I didn't want to confess and then find out it was just a temporary thing and that you weren't my soul mate, and that would mean that I ruined our friendship for nothing, but then I realized that my love for you was too strong to be temporary, and that I loved you more than all the gold in Erebor and more than anything in the world and that if I had to chose between saving you and saving the world I would always choose you every time because you are my world, so I knew that my love for you wouldn't fade, that what I was feeling wasn't temporary or fleeting and that it would last forever, and I realized that I wasn't afraid of rejection, because I'm not afraid of my feelings  and I knew that even if you didn't love me back, in that way, and even if you rejected me, you would never turn away from me completely and you would never truly hate me, because you're my brother, and even if you don't love me romantically, your platonic, brotherly love for me was too strong for you to hate me." Kili said all of that in one breath, and now he was sucking in air. Every exhale wafted into Fili's face and the two realized how close they were to each other. Kili's eyes kept looking down at Fili's lips, but the elder brother forced himself to look nowhere but Kili's eyes.

"Part of me does hate you, Kili."

The brunette flinched and he stared into Fili's hard eyes. He didn't speak but waited to see what Fili would do.

"Part of me does hate you, Kili, because it hates the way you make me feel." His voice was a whisper, and his words made Kili's breath hitch. "It hates what you do to my body. My mind doesn't function properly when you're near me, and my heart beats so fast and so hard it hurts when ever you're in the same room as me, which is pretty much always, so I've had some pretty fast blood-circulation these last few months." Kili chuckled slightly, but not much because Fili was still so serious. "My stomach erupts with butterflies, and I can never seem to control my thoughts, my desires," he ducked his head closer to Kili so that their noses nearly touched, "my temptations. You do this to me all without even touching me or speaking to me. And when you do touch me, the shivers that run through my body... I'm always weak in the knees, and all you have to do to get this reaction is put a hand on my shoulder or brush against me when we're walking. I hate the way you make me feel, because you make me feel weak. So weak. And that is why part of me hates you."

Kili was barely breathing and his heart was beating completely irregularly. He felt himself tilt his head up so that his nose bumped into Fili's like an Eskimo kiss. He shivered at the contact and every fiber tingled with the love and desire he felt in that moment.

"But the rest of me, the bigger part, loves you. It loves the way you make me feel. That part loves the fact that I love you." Fili released his strangling grip on Kili's arms, and he ran his hands up the brunette's arms to his hands and interlocked their fingers, still pinning him to the wall. "That part of me loves that I love you, because you are best person in the world to love. That part of me loves the fact that the only person in the world to make me weak is you." He pressed his chest against Kili's, loving the feel of their bodies against each other. "All of me loves you, Kili, every single part. Part of me isn't sure that it likes it, but the rest of me... my heart beats with its love for you. My lungs breath or don't breath because of their love for you. My blood rushes to my head, or my groin, because of you.  My stomach flutters and turns sumer salts for you. My love for you sends shivers down my spine and tingles through every bone and muscle in my body. My brain... I can never stop thinking about you, Kili. Every thought, in every second. Fantasies during the day, and dreams at night. I long for you, Kili. Every part of my body screams in desire for you. I love you, Kili. And it hurts. A lot. But it's a good pain, and I don't want it to stop." 

They stared into each other's eyes, drinking in the love that was pouring from each of them. They were so close that if one of them moved less then half a centimeter, they would be kissing. It was that thought that nearly sent Fili over the edge. "Kili?"

The brunette took a deep breath. "Yes, Fili?"

"Can I kiss you?" On the word 'you,' Fili's lips pursed slightly, nearly brushing across Kili's lips.

Kili smiled slightly, and nodded just the tiniest bit. "Please do."

Fili only hesitated a moment before connecting their lips.

It felt amazing. After so many months of keeping it all inside, all the feelings, the thoughts, the desires, the lust, it felt so good to finally be able to release them, to let them roam free. This first kiss only lasted a few moments, then Fili pulled away. Kili pouted, but didn't say anything. He was happy his beloved loved him back. He really had no right to complain.

Fili weighed this first kiss in the back of his mind. He tested it, searching for anything, any part of it, that felt wrong. He wanted to be sure he was doing right by himself, but, more importantly, he needed to do right by Kili. As he tested the kiss, he found that there was nothing about it he could deem wrong, except for the fact that it didn't last forever.

He leaned forward and captured the brunette's lips once more. They remained still for a moment, content to just be touching, not needing anything else. But then the moment passed and lust overtook them. Their lips moved against each other, and Fili rubbed circles into one of Kili's hands with his thumb. Kili swiped his tongue across Fili's bottom lip in a desperate plea for entrance. With a moan, Fili granted the brunette's request, and Kili slipped his tongue into the blond's mouth. With one hand, the elder brother let go of Kili's hand and caressed his brother's mostly bare cheek. He used his hold on his face to bring him closer and he lightly sucked on the tongue in his mouth. Kili shivered and brought his free hand down to his brother's waist, pulling him against him so he was sandwiched between his brother and the wall. 

When Kili did this, Fili swore he could feel his brother's hard tent in his pants and lust rose within him. Already, his brother was turned on? Not surprising, seeing as Fili had his own growing tent. 

Fili figured Kili had spent enough time exploring his mouth, so he pulled away from the kiss. Before Kili had the chance to pout, the blond attacked his jaw with his lips, effectively keeping the younger dwarf pleased. As he sucked a particular spot near his ear, Kili let out a long moan as shivers ran down his spine. Fili smiled against his brother's jaw, pleased that he could draw such beautiful sounds from him. He moved his lips down to his brother's neck, leaving hickies everywhere. He wanted them to be visible. He wanted everyone to know that Kili was taken.

He left several love bites along his neck, giving specific attention to a spot near his Adam's apple. He grazed his teeth along it, nipping at the skin. Then he sucked harshly, drawing a beautiful bruise to the surface. He then ran his tongue over the area, soothing the abused flesh. 

Fili wanted to go lower, and Kili wanted him to as well, but Kili's tunic was beginning to be a problem. Staring into his younger brother's eyes, he snaked his hands down his body to the hem of his tunic, half way down his thighs. He then hooked his fingers under the fabric and brought the material up and over his head. Kili smirked when he saw Fili's expression. He was staring adoringly, and longingly, at his younger brother's body. His muscles were finely tuned, especially his arms from his work with the bow. Knowing what he did about archery, he could only guess that he had amazing back muscles as well.

The blond had long since dropped the tunic on the ground. He was just standing there, staring at the glorious body that was his lover's. Kili chuckled and grabbed his hands. Slowly, he brought them closer to himself, and he placed them on his chest, encouraging Fili to touch him. Touch him he did. He ran his fingers over every muscle, and, when he stepped closer to get the reach he needed, he found he was right about Kili's back muscles. There was that feeling again, being weak in the knees. He found that, in this moment, he absolutely loved it.

Kili decided that he didn't want to be the only one showing some skin so, in the same fashion as Fili, he stripped his brother of his tunic as well. He raised his head and kissed his brother's lips again passionately. 

Still weak in the knees, Fili found it very hard to keep standing, so he walked backwards, bringing his brother with him, until he found the sofa. He plopped down and Kili climbed on top of him, straddling his waist.

They reconnected their lips, loving the feeling of their lips making contact. Their hands roamed over the other's torsos, feeling the contours of every muscle, every crevice. Fili ran his hands over his brother's thighs and ass, enjoying his newfound freedom to touch and love Kili as much as he could.

The two lovers stayed like that, kissing, touching, feeling. Occasionally, Kili would grind his hips into his brother, drawing beautiful moans and naughty desires from him. As much as they both wanted to act on those desires, they knew they shouldn't go too fast. They were both content with staying as they were, their lips connected, their bodies pressed together, their hands making a mental map of the planes of the other's body. They reveled in their love, savoring each moment, and hoping it wouldn't be their last.

Suddenly, the door to their dwelling burst open. The boys pulled their lips apart and turned to see who it was who'd caught them. Kili didn't bother getting up from Fili's lap. They were caught, so what was the point in pretending they hadn't been doing what they were doing.

Looking at who had arrived, each gave a small sigh of relief as they realized it was only Thorin, who already knew of their feelings for each other. Thorin smiled when he saw them, glad to see they had gotten together, and a bit irritated with himself for interrupting. "Glad to see you two are finally a couple. Just one question: how far exactly were you planning to go on the sitting room couch? I hope you would have moved to the bedroom for the messy part at least."

Fili and Kili exchanged looks of embarrassment while Thorin chuckled slightly. Fili huffed indignantly. "We weren't going to go that far, Uncle!" He looked over at his brother with a sly grin, tracing his smooth jaw with his finger. "KiKi is far too young for that sort of thing."

Thorin snorted and Kili raised an eyebrow. Two could play and that game. "Your right, brother." Fili's eyes widened in surprise. Kili just shrugged. "Besides," he leaned over and gave him a passionate kiss, ignoring his Uncle clearing his throat, "Fili is far too old for any of this." Then he got up off his brother's lap, threw on his tunic, and walked to the door. "I'm going for a walk. I'll see you two old men when I return." With that he sassily walked out of the house.

Thorin and Fili looked at each other, at the door, back at each other, then they burst out laughing. "That boy has too much sass for his own good." Thorin wiped tears from the corner of his watery eyes. He hadn't laughed like that in years. He was glad his nephews had found their happiness.

"He does indeed," agreed Fili. Then he remembered something. "Uncle, what did you say to Kili on the walk?"

Thorin smirked. "I merely asked him if he had feelings for you, told him that I thought you were soul mates, and encouraged him to tell you how he felt. I didn't tell him anything of your feelings, I promise."

Fili nidded. "Thank you, Uncle... do you truly believe we are soul mates?"

Thorin thought for a moment. "Yes, I do."

The blond smiled, happiness spreading through him in a wave. "I think so, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? This is the first kiss scene that I've actually published online, so feedback, feedback, feedback!
> 
> Love,  
> The Jellyfish


	5. Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili returns from his walk, Thorin is fond of his amusing nephews, and our two favorite boys have some alone time before bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it weird that when I proofread my stuff I end up making fangirl noises because if how cute I think it is?
> 
> Also, I'm sure you all would eventually notice this, but I have a thing for back muscles, so... I like to mention them... in make out scenes... cause they're just so freaking hot. Enjoy!

Kili returned from his walk to find that Fili had put his tunic back on, much to his disappointment, and was talking to Thorin about weapons. Kili didn't really care what the conversation was about, so he didn't mind when they ceased the topic after he sat down next to Fili.

Fili looked over at his brother, giving him a small smile as he took his hand, lacing their fingers together. Kili returned the grin, raising his brother's hand to his lips and giving it a soft kiss.

"Did you enjoy your walk, Kili?" The brunette smirked as he remembered what had led up to his sudden excersion outside his home.

"I did. You should try it. Might help you cool off a bit." Fili chuckled in response, realizing that Kili had noticed the small errection that had begun to form when his brother had sat down beside him. Even the simplest touch turned him on, because the simple touches were enough to start his mind on a very... naughty path.

"Maybe I don't want to cool off. Maybe I like being... hot."

"Well you certainly are that, Fili."

Thorin chuckled at their banter, but then he realized what they were talking about. "What exactly are you two planning on doing tonight? I need to know if it's anything too... heated, so I can head on over to stay with someone else. I'm not sleeping- or trying to sleep, more like it, in this house when you two are doing the do in the nearest room. It's a good thing your mother doesn't live with you. The woman would have had a heart attack had she walked in on you like I did."

The brothers' eyes widened and they shared a look of panic. They hadn't even thought of what their mother would think. Surely she wouldn't approve of her sons in a romantic relationship with each other.

Thorin saw the look and interpreted it. "Don't worry, boys. I'll speak with your mother tomorrow. If she doesn't approve at first, she will when I'm done talking to her. And if she doesn't then, which she will, she'll be all for it when she sees how you two feel for one another with her own eyes."

Fili let out a sigh of relief and Kili smiled. "Thank you, Uncle," said the brunette, grateful to have him on their side. "And to answer your earlier question, I don't think we'll be doing... that just yet."

Fili nodded his head in agreement and looked at his brother. "I think it would be best to save that for another time." He leaned over and pecked Kili on the cheek, giving him a slight blush. Why was it the smallest things that brought this kind of reaction when he didn't even blink when their Uncle walked in on them making out shirtless?

Thorin nodded. "Good. That's wise of you, to wait."

They then moved to other topics, varying from training to Erebor to elves. Eventually, Thorin decided to retire to his bed (old people get tired a lot), leaving the two brothers alone on the couch. Now that they were free from worrying about making their Uncle uncomfortable, they shifted positions so that Fili was lying down and Kili was on top of him, his stomach snuggly settled between his legs. Kili wrapped his arms around his brother's midsection, burying his head in his chest. Fili used one hand to stroke his brother's back and the other to play with Kili's brown locks.

"Well," said Fili, "today's been... eventful."

Kili chuckled. "Agreed." He mumbled the word into his brother's chest, too lazy and content to bother lifting his head.

Fili liked this position. He liked feeling Kili's heart beat and feeling the vibrations of his laughter against his stomach. "Kili?"

"Hmmm?" Kili was already half asleep, completely comfortable in his brother's embrace.

"What if Mother doesn't approve of us?"

Kili's head snapped up. He was certainly awake now. Searching his lover's face, he sighed. After a moment to consider his answer, he sat up, bringing his brother up with him. He took his hands in his own and looked into his eyes. "Fili, I love you. I would go to Mordor and back for you. I don't want anything to come between us, not even mother. Now, I love her just as much as you do, and I want her to be proud of me. But we can't let her dictate every part of ourselves. We can't let our desire to please her hurt us."

Fili nodded, though he still looked uneasy. He stared into his lap, not wanted to make eye contact with his brother. Kili raised a hand and brought it to his chin, raising his head until they were staring into each other's eyes. "I don't know about you, Fili, but I know that you are my soul mate. Mine. Not Mother's. What does it matter what she thinks? The point of having a soul mate is that no one can choose who it is they love. And no one can change their love. Not even their mums. You are mine, Fili. I just got you. I'm not going to give you up just because Mother is being difficult."

Fili smiled, grateful to Kili for his words. He knew that he and the brunette were meant to be, and he wasn't going to let anything, or anyone, get in the way of that.

The blond leaned forward and placed a slow, loving kiss on Kili's lips. "I love you. I'm not giving you up either."

A grin spread across Kili's lips, and he surged forward, crashing his lips into Fili's in in a passionate kiss. His hands cupped the blond's cheeks, pulling him in closer.

Fili knew he was the oldest, and he knew he liked to be dominant. What man didn't? But something about his younger brother taking charge instead of being submissive really turned him on. It reminded him of something Kili had said when he was telling Fili that he loved him the first time. 

I'm not afraid of my feelings. 

It sure didn't seem like he was. He didn't appear to be shy or nervous, or the slightest bit hesitant. He knew what he wanted, and he knew what his limits were. He seemed to know exactly what to do in each moment, whereas Fili was a bundle of nerves all the time.

Kili straddled Fili, returning to the position they were in earlier that day. As the brunette let his hands roam over Fili, the elder of the two decided to give in, let loose, and be bold like Kili. Slowly, he slinked his hands down from shoulders, to waist, to ass. Fili was surprised and pleased to find how firm it was. Kili moaned as he squeezed it, and Fili smiled against his brother's lips.

The continued to kiss, never going any farther or crossing any more lines than had already been done. At one point, Fili's hands moved from Kili's ass and slid under his tunic. He felt the contours of his high-definition back muscles, committing them to memory via touch. Once that had been accomplished, he moved his hands from his back to his abs, and he ran his fingers along every inch of skin he could reach.

Kili had dug his fingers in the blond's hair, pulling at the roots every now and then as he kissed him, drawing sweet moans from his lover's mouth. Once he gained permission, he slipped his tongue in Fili's mouth, exploring everything there was to be found. He nibbled and sucked on Fili's bottom lip, then ran his tongue over it to sooth the swollen flesh. 

As time passed, their kisses became sloppier, lazier, as the two began to grow tired. They had been at it for nearly half an hour, relishing in their love, but they now realized that they needed to get some sleep. 

Kili pulled away from his brother, hands still in his hair, and he stared down at him. He played with the strands as Fili continued to caress the skin of his back under his tunic. Suddenly, Kili yawned, and, though he had tried to cover it up, Fili finally noticed how tired the both of them were. Chuckling, he wrapped his arms around Kili's thighs and hoisted him up. He stood, with Kili's legs still astride his waist, and he carried his younger brother to the room they shared. 

Plopping him down on his bed, Fili removed Kili's tunic for him, seeing as the brunette was too lazy to do it himself. He removed the clip from his hair, setting it on a nearby bed stand. He then did the same to himself.

Fili used his fingers to tuck some of Kili's hair behind his ears. Kili placed his hands on the back of Fili's thighs, pulling him closer and placing gentle, loving kisses along his stomach. Fili loved the way it felt, but he tried to keep himself under control. They had already said they were going to wait before escalating their physical relationship. "Would you like to sleep by yourself tonight, or should I join you?"

Kili responded by grabbing his arm and yanking him towards him, lying down at the same time so that Fili landed on top of him. The blond chuckled. "I take it you'd like me to sleep here with you."

The younger dwarf nodded lazily and rolled so that Fili was no longer on top of him. He snuggled into his older brother's arms, placing a soft kiss under his jaw. "I love you, Fili."

This situation reminded Fili of the nightmare Kili had had a couple months back. That first time, when Kili had said those words, it was bittersweet for the blond, because, though he loved to hear Kili say those three words, he had thought he hadn't meant them the way Fili had wanted him to. Now, he knew exactly how Kili meant it, and the knowledge sent a warm feeling to his stomach and his heart. And when he replied, he knew that, this time, Kili knew exactly how he meant it, too.

"I love you, too, Kili."

And with that, they fell asleep in each other's arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourself! Drama in the next chapter.
> 
> I know some of you were hoping smut, but I'm saving it. First times are important times. I want theirs to be special. So you'll just have to wait. Tough.


	6. Mother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mother knows best, or does she?
> 
> Or, the one in which Thorin tells Dis her sons are in love with each other.
> 
> And fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Uncle Scar voice (from the Lion King)*  
> Be prepaaaaaared!
> 
> I'm not entirely sure what you should prepare for though. Fluff? Momma!Dis being a momma? Thorin being something other than a fearless warrior?
> 
> Oh, I give up. Just read the thing I made.

When Thorin awoke the next morning, he did not want to get out of bed. It was comfortable, it was warm, and it expecting nothing from him. It merely held out its arms, inviting him to come in and be lazy and do nothing but sleep. Oh, if only all the world were one giant bed. Then nothing would get done, because nothing needed to be done.

If only, if only, the old dwarf man said,  
The wood of the floor was as soft as the bed.  
And the world said to him, "You've places to be."  
He cried to the moon, If only, if only.

(If you don't recognize the song, watch the movie Holes, or just look it up. It's called If Only, If Only, obviously. I changed the words for my own amusement.)

Thorin groaned as he forced himself to sit up. Sighing, he stood and got dressed for the day. The house was silent, so Thorin figured the boys were still asleep. He smiled to himself when he thought of them. He loved his sister, and he enjoyed the company of his friends, like Balin, Dwalin, and the others, but those two boys he was especially fond of.

He exited the room he was using during his stay and silently opened the door to their room, looking in to check on them. When they were little Fili and Kili had shared a bed, for comfort and warmth. Even when they neared adulthood, they hadn't grown out of it, but Dis had made them stop, thinking it best. That morning, when Thorin looked in to see the two boys on the same bed, his mind was transported back to a simpler time when Thorin didn't feel so old and the boys had far less worries.

He smiled fondly as he looked on them, curled into each other and asleep in each other's arms. Thorin found it to be... cute, and he was glad he had played a small part in helping them get together. It would have happened eventually, even without his help, but he was grateful that he had been given the opportunity to get it to happen sooner.

He silently shut the door and headed out of the house. He walked the short way to his sister's home, knowing she was already awake. Dis had always been an early riser. It had annoyed Thorin to no end when he was young, but he found reasons to be grateful for it as he grew in age, and wisdom. When he arrived, he knocked on the door, as was polite, though he knew he needn't bother.

The door opened to reveal Thorin's sister. He was glad to see her. She had so far spent more time with Balin than his Dis in the week he'd been back, and he found himself regretting it in that moment. "Thorin, what a pleasant surprise!"

The raven smiled at his sister, and she bade him come in. He greeted her as the custom dictated and sat on her couch. She lowered herself into the chair opposite and grinned. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, brother?"

Thorin's smile was small, almost grim. He worried for his nephews. He had told them their mother would accept them, but what if she didnt?  
"I have something to discuss with you, concerning your sons."

Her eyebrows raised. "What have Fili and Kili done this time? Those mischievous boys of mine will never grow up."

Thorin found himself smirking at his sister. "They've actually grown quite a bit, sister. That's what I've come to discuss with you about."

Her face became suddenly suspicious. "Thorin, I love you, but if you've come to ask me if you can take them on one of your adventures, I'll have your head with my kitchen knife."

Thorin sighed. "No, woman. That is not why I've come. Why don't you just stay quiet and let me say my piece before you go threatening your own brother's life?"

Dis opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but with one look from her brother, she quickly shut it and nodded her head.

Thorin let out the breath he'd been holding. "No interrupting, Dis. You can't speak till I've had my say." She nodded again and he relaxed a bit more. "Now as I'm sure you've noticed, your sons are getting on in years and it's only natural that they would find someone to be romantically attracted to." Dis' face lit up with excitement, but she held her tongue. Quite a feat, considering how long she'd been waiting for her sons to settle down. And for grandchildren.

Thorin saw the look and sighed. "They have each found someone, Dis. I can tell by the way they look at them that they truly love them in their hearts. They have already begun a relationship. They don't require your blessing to continue pursuing their hearts, but I've come to speak on their behalf to see if you'll accept them."

Dis' head cocked to the side, confusion evident on her face. She said nothing, but her eyes communicated a thousand words to her brother. What about this am I not going to like? I know it's coming, or you wouldn't sound so grave. Just tell me. 

"They're both gay, Dis."

Her eyes widened, but she nodded, willing to accept that.

"But there's more."

She nodded again for him to continue.

Thorin sighed. Why me, he thought. "Dis, they're... they..." He sighed harshly. No more sugar coating it. The truth is like a burp. Better out than in. 

"Dis, your sons have fallen in love with each other." 

Her jaw dropped, grazing the floor. "They WHAT?"

Thorin winced as she yelled at him. "Dis, you agreed not to speak till I've had my say!"

Dis stared at her brother in shock. He had never raised his voice at her, and the fact that he did it now was both frightening and confusing. He couldn't possibly approve, could he?

"Dis, I know they're your sons. I know they're brothers. And I know how much you want grandchildren. But if only you'd look at them, with an open mind, when they're together, you could see it just as plainly as I can that they are truly soul mates. Every dwarf dreams of finding their mate for life. They have done just that. Nature simply made them brothers to ensure they would find each other. You've found your soul mate. He was your husband, before he died. Can you honestly tell me that if, for some reason, our father had disapproved, you wouldn't have married him? Can you honestly tell me that the disapproval of someone else would have changed your love for him?"

Dis shook her head, answering both questions at once. Thorin continued. "I've not found my soul mate yet, Dis. You have no idea how much I long to find the one I'm to love forever. I can't help but wonder if I'll ever find that person at all. And I look at Fili and Kili and I know how lucky they are to have found each other."

"The thing dwarves believe about soul mates is that they can be anyone. Dwarves have nothing against homosexuality, because they know biological sex has nothing to do with the soul that resides within, and who that soul is meant to love. If a soul mate can be anyone, why can't Fili and Kili's soul mates be each other? I can't think of one bloody reason."

Dis looked as though she was trying so hard to close her mind to what Thorin was saying, but he knew he was getting to her, braking down her walls. "Dis, they love each other. I can see it. A blind man could see it. They've loved each other for months, hiding it from everyone, including each other, for fear of rejection and disapproval from those they love most. Now they finally know that their feelings are reciprocated. Don't try to tear them apart after they've gone through so much effort to get to where they are now. They will continue to love each other, for the rest of their lives. The only difference is that one way they have your approval and the other way they hate themselves because they couldn't make you proud. So what are you going to do?"

Dis was silent for a while. Nearly 10 minutes passed and she didn't speak a word. Thorin knew she wasn't ignoring him or being rude. She was simply formulating her opinion and deciding how to say it.

Finally she was ready to speak. Dis looked Thorin in the eye as she spoke. "I think I could approve of them, but I need to see them. I need to speak with them and see if they truly love each other and look at each other the way you say they do."

Thorin nodded. She had a point. "Alright. They are probably awake by now. Just... if you can't find it in you to approve, even once you've seen them, I only ask thst you be gentle with them. It will be hard enough for them without having to think about their own mum being disappointed in them."

Dis nodded and they stood. Leaving her home, they traveled the distance to the home of Fili and Kili. When they arrived, Thorin thought it be best to knock first, just in case they were doing something their mother shouldn't see them doing. He knocked his special knock so that they knew it was him.

"It's open," came Fili's voice. Thorin shared a look with his sister and shrugged before opening the door and entering the home.

They walked in to find the boys on the couch. Kili was sitting with his back against the armrest. Fili was situated between his sprawled out legs, reading a book as Kili braided different sections of his hair, only to unbraid them and do it again. Fili was leaned back against Kili, comfortable with his back on Kili's chest.

When the boys looked up from what they were doing to see Thorin with their Mother, they shared a nervous look before beginning to move apart. Dis stopped them before they'd gotten too far. "You needn't move. I already know. Thorin has told me."

Fili decided to speak for the two if them. "We know, Mother, but we also can tell you aren't sure how to feel about all this. We figured it might be more comfortable for you if we sat together as family rather than a couple."

Dis raised her eyebrow elegantly. "You communicated all this with one mere look?" She seemed skeptical, but the three men in the room were not surprised.

"It isn't anything new, Mother. We've always done that." It was Kili who spoke that time.

Dis humphed and sat down in a chair. Thorin took the other chair. Fili and Kili were now sitting correctly on the couch, not touching but closer together than normal siblings would want to be.

"Have you boys eaten yet?" Thorin seemed as though he was concerned for his nephews, but in reality his own stomach was roaring with hunger and he wanted an excuse to eat. When they shook their heads, he sighed. "I'll prepare breakfast for the four of us while you three talk."

Fili and Kili shared another look before busting out laughing. "You... are going to cook, Uncle?" Fili asked between his peals of laughter. 

Kili smiled. "I guess we won't be eating breakfast then."

"Mhm. Best not to poison ourselves without good cause." The boys laughed all the harder at Thorin's stern look. Dis couldn't help herself but smile. Right now they seemed more like brothers than lovers, and she was far more comfortable like that.

"Perhaps it would be best if Thorin started staying with you when he's home, Mother. " Kili continued the conversation.

Fili agreed with his brother. "Yeah, then we wouldn't have to deal with all his problems. He is your brother after all."

"Did you smell what Uncle did to the pipes the other night when he relieved himself," Kili questioned the blond, who responded with a look of near-terror on his face.

"That, brother, was chemical warfare." Kili collapsed on Fili in a fit of laughter and he buried his head in his brother's shoulder. Thorin was definitely blushing as he disappeared into the kitchens, and Dis was smiling, having nearly forgotten why she was there at all.

When the laughter had died down, Kili was still leaning on his brother, who wrapped an arm around his waist. When Dis saw this she sighed. "Tell me how this started." She gestured between the two of them, indicating the 'this' she was referring to was their relationship.

The boys looked at each other. "I already had to tell Thorin," Fili said. "Your turn."

"The day we realized or the day we told each other?"

"Well she asked how it started, so I'm going to go with the day we realized."

Kili nodded. "This is going to be so awkward."

The blond snorted and nodded his agreement before gesturing for Kili to start.

The brunette told the tale, leaving out some things which were not likely to help their mother come to terms with their relationship (dirty thoughts, level of arousal, possibility of errections, etc). Dis interrupted the telling every so often to ask Fili his point of view. All in all, it only took 15 minutes with all the added questions and Kili's tendency to be overly wordy and eloquent when he spoke.

"So that was when we both began to realize our love for each other was more than a simple, platonic love and we've only grown in our love for each other since." As Kili finished finished these final words, he took Fili's hand and looked over at him, smiling softly. Fili returned the smile and began rubbing his thumb back and forth on Kili's hand. 

Dis thought about it all, trying to ignore the sight of her sons holding hands and looking at each other like they were the only ones in the world. She cleared her throat and asked another question. "How do you know it is love and not just sexual attraction?"

The boys seemed to ponder this a moment, though they didn't look confused or challenged by the question. If anything they looked amused, with themselves, each other, and the situation. Kili spoke first.

"Well for me, I didn't immediately know that I loved him. I knew that I was attracted to him, sexually and emotionally, and mentally as well. But I didn't realize how significant my attraction was until a couple months ago. I had had a nightmare and something that happened in the nightmare, followed by what came after made me realize." Dis gestured for him to continue. He bit his lip. Kili hadn't told Fili the entire story of the dream yet. How much should he say? 

"In my nightmare, Fili was attacked by orcs, he died eventually, and I did too, but," he glanced over at Fili giving him a guilty look, and, though he seemed confused by the look, Fili smiled his encouragment. Kili took a deep breath, "other stuff happened, too. He told me that he loved me and I said I loved him, and at first it could have been interpreted as brotherly, platonic love, but then..." Kili glanced at Fili again, who nodded. Kili let out a defeated sigh. "Then he kissed me."

Fili stared at him in surprise. "I did?" A smile spread across his face as Kili nodded.

"I didn't tell you that night because, well, because neither of us knew our feelings were reciprocated. But yeah, you kissed me."

Fili grinned, pleased with his dream-self. "Good. I like to think I would have finally kissed you before I died, with or without your confession." Fili raised Kili's hand to his lips and kissed the back of it softly. Kili blushed.

"Anyways, after he kissed me the first time, he said that he had always wanted to do that and, since that was his last chance he knew he had to do it. I said something sappy about not wanting our first kiss to be our last, so then Fili told me to kiss him again, and I did, but..., that kiss was longer and when I pulled away, he, um..., he was already dead. He'd died in the middle of it."

"Oh, so that's why you blushed when I asked if you were with me when I died." Kili nodded and Fili's eyes filled with sympathy. "God, that must have made the dream even worse." Kili nodded again, slightly embarrassed.

"I woke up after Fili died and just before an orc slit my throat." Kili didn't think it necessary to traumatize his mother with thoughts of Fili's corpse being eaten by orcs. There was already a slim chance she would let them leave the Blue Mountains, and he didn't want that chance to get any slimmer. Fili silently agreed.

What none of the three knew was that Thorin was listening to their conversation from the kitchen. He was actually horrified by what he heard had occured. Part of him really didn't want to ever invite them to come with him on any adventures, but he knew better than to let a mere nightmare stop him or his nephews, and he knew they would never forgive him if he refused to let them come over a dream.

Kili finished his explanation. "After I woke up, I told Fili... most of the dream. Then when we were going to sleep, I told him I loved him, and I had meant it in the brotherly way, but somehow it just felt wrong to say it like that, and I realized that, in my heart, I had meant it differently. I didn't say it again until yesterday, and when I did, it felt so right and true and that's how I do know it really is real. If it feels wrong to say I love him as a brother, but it feels perfect and right to say I love as more, then I have no doubt that this is love," Kili looked over at his brother and smiled, "And that he is my soul mate."

Dis looked skeptical, but she nodded her head. "And you, Fili, how did you know?"

Fili sighed. "Well, my story isn't nearly as long or dramatic as Kili's." He gave his brother a pointed look, but the grin revealed that he was just teasing. "It wasn't really gradual for me like it was for Kili. My thoughts would say things, like 'he'll never love me back' and I'd be shocked with myself, because I had basically just admitted in my mind that I loved him. At first I kept trying to fight it, and I tried to tell myself that I couldn't love my brother and that no one would ever accept us, and that it was hard enough on Kili being a beardless archer, that if he ever returned my feelings it would just make it harder for him to fit in with the other dwarves. That was my primary reason for fighting. I didn't want to make anything harder for him." As Fili spoke he fiddled around with Kili's hand, drawing circles in the back of it with his fingers and holding it with the other hand. Kili smiled and leaned over to place a kiss on his cheek. Fili grinned sheepishly and continued.

"But no matter how much I tried to talk myself out of it, I knew I loved him. I knew I had for a while. I knew I could never escape it, change it, or reason myself out of it. My heart was already wrapped up in a box to give him, and I couldn't give it to anyone else because it already had his name on it. I was trapped, in my love for him." Fili looked over at his brother and smiled. "Still am."

Kili snorted. "And you always say I'm the eloquent one." Fili laughed and kissed his nose. Kili blushed before looking sheepishly at his mother, unable to conceal his smile. 

In the kitchen, Thorin dropped a pan on his toes. He cried out and started cursing and yelling. Fili laughed. He looked over at his mother, then turned to his brother. "Kili, go help Thorin. Make sure he doesn't burn down the house or poison us."

For a second, Kili was confused. Then he looked between his mother and Fili and realization dawned on him. "Oh. Yeah. I'll do that." He got up and headed toward the kitchen, but before he left the room, he stopped and turned to his mother. "And, by the way, if this was just sexual attraction, I don't think we would have made the same decision to wait." With that, he walked away to help cook breakfast.

"Made what decision to wait?" She asked Fili. 

Fili smiled softly. "We've not slept together, Mother. Well, we've slept in the same bed, but that's nothing new. We did for years before you had us stop. What I mean is that we haven't..." Fili sighed harshly. "We haven't had sex, Mother. We decided to wait a while, till we are older. We don't want to move too quickly, for our own sakes."

Dis seemed entirely uncomfortable with this conversation, and Fili almost laughed at the squeamish blush coating her cheeks and ears. Dis sighed quietly, and looked over her son. "Fili, I'm not sure I can condone this. I see you holding hands or kissing each other's cheeks and all I can think about is that the two of you came from one womb, mine. I just, I don't think I can accept this."

Fili sighed in disappointment. "Mother, don't make us fight you over this. Please."

Dis shook her head. "That is one reason I'm not sure you truly know what love is. Love is not a battle, Fili."

Fili shook his head. "No, Mother. You're right. Love is not a battle. But it is something worth fighting for."

With those words, Dis was transported to another time, in another place. Back before Fili and Kili were born, before Smaug drove the dwarves from Erebor, Dis was in love with a man who was in love with her. The problem was, he was a commoner, and Dis was a princess. She didn't think her father would approve of her marrying a man without a drop of royal or noble blood in his veins. Dis was about ready to give up on marrying the man of her dreams, but he was a fighter.

"I'm not going to give up, Dis. I love you. I'll not bow my head and walk away like a dog with its tail between its legs, just because I'm afraid your father won't allow it. I'm still going to try. I love you, Dis, and love is something worth fighting for."

Dis rushed from the chair and threw her arms around Fili. "Oh, my son, you've done it!" Hearing the commotion, Kili and Thorin rushed to the room to find Dis embracing her son. "You've proven it to me." She stood and came to Kili, hugging him as well. "I'm so sorry I doubted you, my sons. If your father were here, he'd have given you his blessing the moment he saw you on that couch together. But he's not here, so you'll have to do with my blessing instead." Dis grabbed Kili's hand and motioned for Fili to join them. When he did, she took his hand as well. She placed them on each other, and they laced their fingers together. Dis wrapped her hands around those of her sons, and looked back and forth between their eyes.

"You've proven it to me, boys. You've proven your love. I believe it, and I... accept you. I praise you for standing up for your love, for recognizing it when you did. You've my blessing. I wouldn't mind it if you married tomorrow. I love you, boys, and I'm so proud of you. Your father would be so incredibly proud of you as well, more so than I could ever be in all my years."

Fili and Kili looked back and forth between their mother and each other. Smiles grew on their faces, and Thorin looked on with a fond grin. Fili embraced his mother and thanked her, as did Kili.

"I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner. Your father must have rolled over in his grave when I tried to close my heart to this."

"Don't worry about it, Mother. We thought it would take much longer than this for you to come around." Kili nodded in agreement with his brother. After another round of hugs, Thorin and Kili returned to the kitchen and Dis and Fili sat down once more. During the next 10 minutes it took for breakfast to be prepared, Dis and Fili talked about the things they would have talked about before, minus Dis asking about if any young maidens had caught his eye.

When breakfast was ready, they all gathered around the table and ate. At one point, Kili dripped sause down his chin, and Fili scooped it up with his finger and sucked if off the tip. Kili placed a kiss on his brother's cheek to thank him, and everyone acted as though it had been an normal occurrence for years. When Fili placed placed a kiss on Kili's lips as he cleared the dishes, Dis felt her heart clench, but she pushed it away. She would be happy for her boys, she had to be. For their sakes, and for her husband's.

When the time came for Dis to leave, her sons walked her to the door, their fingers intertwined between them. "Thank you, Mother," Fili said as he embraced her, and she chuckled. Kili embraced her next.

"No need to thank me, boys. Just... be good to each other." The boys looked at each other fondly and then back to their mother.

"We will," They said together.

Dis smiled and left.

The boys went to Thorin and embraced him. "Thank you, Uncle," Kili said.

"I don't know what we would do if Mother had not accepted us." Fili smiled appreciatively, but Thorin shook his head.

"I did nothing, boys. You did that on your own. I just got her to the house. You two got her to accept you."

The boys nodded, and they were in a perpetually good mood for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll have to let me know if you think Dis' acceptance was off or weird or something. I just didn't want to drag it out and I wanted the boys to have some solid support for what is to come.


	7. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have happy fun time, but they get interrupted.
> 
> Translation: LET THE MAKE OUT SESSION BEGIN!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter. I'll explain why at the end of the chappie, but there is some kissing and stuff in the beginning (most of it is kissing, actually). Mentions of errection and hickies and stuff, so if you don't want to read that, skip down to, like, the 15th to last paragraph.

Time passed and days turned to weeks, turned to months. Thorin left the Blue Mountains about a month after Dis gave her blessing to Fili and Kili. He didn't tell anyone where he was going, only that it was important that he go.

The brothers were at home, sitting on the couch in the same position they were in when their mother had come to visit. Fili was reading a different book, but Kili was braiding his brother's blond locks as before. He'd always been the better braider of the two, though he never seemed to want to braid his own hair.

Suddenly, it seemed Kili grew tired of braiding, for he moved some of Fili's hair aside, exposed his neck, and began to place slow, loving kisses across his brother's skin. When he found a spot he liked, he nibbled and sucked, drawing a beautiful mark to the surface. Kili liked for his marks to be visible, and liked them to last as long as possible, so he continued favoring that one spot.

Fili tried to ignore his brother, he really did. He kept reading his book until he realized he was reading the same page over and over again and didn't even know what it said. Giving up, he closed the book and set it aside, relaxing into his brother's kisses. Fili rested his hands on his brother's legs, which were on each side, and slowly ran them up and down his thighs.

Kili tugged on the collar of Fili's shirt, exposing more skin for his lips to seduce. He made a line of love bites across the top of his brother's shoulders, a line that would barely be hidden under the collar of his tunic. When Kili came to a certain spot, Fili couldn't help but moan and squeeze Kili's thighs between his fingers. Kili figured that was a good place to stay for a while, and Fili didn't argue as he continued to give the area special attention for a long time.

Kili let his hands roam over his brother's upper body. His shoulders, back, chest, and abs were all fair game and he sensually dragged his fingers across the skin, having slipped his fingers under his brother's tunic.

When Kili's hands felt their way across Fili's pectoral muscles, he felt his brother's erect nipples and couldn't resist the temptation to pinch them. As he did so, Fili let out a low moan, his voice dropping at least two octaves. "Kili." His brother's voice seemed to hold a warning, and that only seemed to arouse the brunette more. He chuckled, lips still massaging Fili's shoulders. 

"Fili," he whispered against the blond's skin. He felt a shiver go through Fili's body and he was proud of the reaction he was getting.

Fili sighed, though it sounded almost like a moan. "If you don't tone it down, I might not be able to control myself."

Kili let out a breathy laugh. "Are you getting hot, darling?" Still playing with one of his brother's nipples, he lowered his other hand, trailing down his abs to his waist, though not daring to go lower than the hem of Fili's trousers.

"Yes." The word came out sharp and low, as though Fili was doing everything in his power to keep himself together. 

Kili sighed and raised his hand up a little higher, tracing the lines of his brother's high-definition abs. "And you don't want to be, right?"

Fili swallowed audibly as Kili's bare foot started rubbing against his calf. "Don't get me wrong. I love this. But I think I love it a little too much at the moment." Fili had to struggle to get out the last words, as Kili licked a long line from where his spine was even with his shoulder blades to the nape of his neck, placing a wet kiss against the spot where the line ended.

"Do you want me to stop, brother?"

Fili's breaths were coming in pants, and he could feel his arousal push against the restraint that was his trousers. "Yes... no..., oh Kili, I don't know."

Kili chuckled. "Care to elaborate, Love?"

Fili sighed with defeat. "It feels so good, Kili. I don't want this feeling to go away, but-"

Kili waited a moment for his brother to continue, but he didn't so Kili prompted him. "But what, darling?"

"But if it doesn't stop, I might not be able to keep myself from going back on our promise."

The brothers had promised each other they wouldn't have sex until Kili was at least 80 (the dwarven equivalent to 28, but since the dwarves lived a really long time, Kili would only actually have the maturity of someone around the age of 21, because dwarves take forever to mature), and it was a constant struggle not to brake that promise. Kili already knew how hard it was to stay true to their word, especially since the word was abstinence, but the brothers didn't talk about it much. The fact that Fili was voicing his stuggle meant that he was really close, a lot closer than ever before.

That would be a problem, because Kili had only recently turned 77. They still had 3 more years to wait.

"So you don't want me to stop, but it is the wise thing to do, right?"

Fili nodded, unable to speak through his arousal. Kili smiled against his brother's neck. "Alright then." He withdrew his hands from inside Fili's tunic. After one quick kiss against the skin under his brother's ear, Kili ceased his kisses, and Fili slid his hands from the base of his brother's thighs to his knees. 

Fili turned his head so he could look at his brother's face, not really minding the lack of space between them (their noses were touching). "Thanks, KiKi."

Kili smiled and kissed his brother on the lips. "Anything for you, my dear Fili."

Fili smiled back, but now that he was looking at his brother, he couldn't help himself. He leaned up and placed another kiss on his lips. The position looked a bit awkward, with Fili laying with his back against his brother's chest, arching his neck to reach his brother's lips, but it didn't feel awkward. It felt perfect.

Because Fili didn't pull away, the kiss didn't end. It continued for nearly two minutes before Kili pulled away, a confused expression on his face. He smirked slightly when he saw Fili pout at the lack of contact. "I thought we were supposed to be stopping." 

"I didn't mean stop everything. I just meant to stop... you know, pinching my nipples and leaving hickies on every available inch of skin. It was a bit overwhelming. Kissing is fine though. I can handle that much." Fili sounded almost like he was whining. His expression said, Duh, stupid. Isn't it obvious? 

Kili chuckled. "You're awfully high maintenance, Fili."

The blond shrugged and pulled his brother into another kiss. Kili didn't resist and quickly wrapped his arms around his brother's waist, on the outside of his tunic this time. 

Kili figured out a while ago that Fili was turned on when Kili played dominant, so he let his brother lead this time in an effort to help him stay under control. He waited for Fili to lick his bottom lip, then he opened his mouth, giving the older brother entrance.

Fili slipped his tongue into the brunette's mouth and began exploring. Though he was quite familiar with this territory, he never got tired of it. He twisted his upper body some so that he could tangle his fingers in Kili's hair, pulling him even closer. 

Kili could taste how needy Fili was in the kiss. He chuckled around Fili's tongue, the vibrations arousing the blond even more than he already was. Fili twisted, placing his hands on Kili's chest and pushing himself up onto his knees. Kili grunted at the weight on his chest, but he didn't complain. He merely repositioned his arms around his brother so that his hands rested against his lower back. Keeping one hand on Kili's chest, Fili used the other to cup the brunette's cheek. 

Fili wasn't straddling him, so he was still between Kili's legs. Kili noticed this and raised a leg, running his shin back and forth across his brother's  hip, drawing a soft moan from the blond. Kili smiled against his lips, completely content with where they were and what they were doing.

So obsorbed were they in each other's embrace, they didn't hear the knock at the door, nor did they hear when someone tried opening the door to see if it was locked. When this person found that it was unlocked, they silently opened the door. The brothers didn't hear this either.

No, the noise they finally heard was someone clearing their throat from across the room. The boys jerked apart and looked up to see their mother looking at them, eyebrows raised in dubious amusement.

"If you boys can't hear when someone knocks on your door, might I suggest keeping it locked?"

The brothers exchanged looks of embarrassment before speaking at the same time. "Sorry, Mother."

Dis smirked and held out a letter to them. "This came by raven today. It's from your uncle and it says that no one is to open it but you, and that you are to open and read it together. I would have opened it anyway, but I'm not sure I want to know what it says."

Fili stood up, since he was the one on top and would have the easiest time of it, and took the letter from his mother. "Thank you, Mother. I promise we'll tell you if it is anything important."

Dis nodded. "I hope so. You boys behave." She gave Kili a pointed look, who shrugged.

"No promises."

Dis sighed and said goodbye before leaving the two. Fili went and sat down on the couch beside his brother, fingering the folded letter.

Kili leaned against his brother's side, an amused grin on his face. "You going to open it, or what?"

Fili looked over at his brother, searching his face with a questioning expression. After a moment, he smiled softly. "I want you to open it." He handed Kili the letter, and the brunette took it hesitantly.

"Are you sure? You are the eldest. You should open it."

Fili shook his head. "I want you to open it," he repeated.

Kili still hesitated. "Whatever it is, it's important. I can tell from the careful, neat handwriting. Uncle's handwriting is normally untidy and near impossible to read. You are absolutely sure you don't want to open it yourself?" Fili nodded, smiling fondly at his brother. Kili sighed. "Alright. As you wish, my love."

And with that, he opened the letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's shorter because I want the contents of the letter to be their own chspter, which means the next chapter will also be shorter. And that means I am going to be very nice and update chapter 8 by tomorrow. 
> 
> *smiles cheekily*
> 
> Ily!


	8. Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The letter than Thorin sent has some... interesting content. Our boys will have to think about how to respond.
> 
> Or, the one in which Thorin is sarcastic yet serious at the same time and has a proposition for Fili and Kili.  
> Not THAT kind of proposition, you dirty minded readers!

To the one who reads this letter,

If you are my dear sister, Dis, do as I instructed. Give this letter to the boys and stop being so difficult all the time.

If you are not my sister, but you are not my nephews, what the hell are you doing with this letter? Don't answer that because I don't really care how you got it, but you best stop reading and send it on to my nephews. Or else.

If you are my beloved nephews, Fili and Kili, sons of Dis, grandsons of Thror, great grandsons of Thrain, then congratulations. I've sent you a letter.

The contents of the letter will no doubt be exciting to you. I know you've both wanted it for some time now, and I know you both worried it would never come. So let me just get to it. I never did like to meander about and take as long as possible to get to the point of the matter at hand.

I am going on a quest. I've been planning it for some time with Balin and Dwalin. I've recently spoken with a wizard who calls himself Gandalf the Gray. He has advised me that now is the perfect time for this quest. He has also offered his help. And I would like the two of you to join me on this quest.

The quest shall be very dangerous, my nephews. You should refrain from convincing yourselves that it will be easy. It won't. It will be very hard. It will take a long time. And a great deal of the time, it won't be all that enjoyable. But if we succeed, oh, then it shall be more than worth it.

You'd probably like to know what the quest is, who else will be on it, etc. I can't put too much in this letter, for I fear someone else could capture this raven and read it. I don't want to endanger our mission, or the company. 

I can tell you this. I've sent similar letters to 10 other dwarves, so the two of you, plus me, plus the other 10 makes 13 dwarves. I'm sure you are aware that 13 is a rather unlucky number. That is why it will not just be the 13 dwarves on this quest.

Gandalf is going to find the 14th member of our company. I cannot say who, for even I don't know. All I do know is that Gandalf shall chose him, and I believe I can trust Gandalf's judgment. Whoever the other member of our company is to be, they shall be capable and trustworthy. You needn't fear on that account.

For the rest of the information regarding this quest, you are to meet the other 10 possible companymen at the pub, you know the one, at 11:00 in the morning on the 3rd day after the full moon of this month. This letter can't get there a month early. And if it arrives a month late, Balin and Dwalin will certainly already have left, you'll be too late, and this letter serves no purpose. For these reasons I feel I needn't specify the month. This will also help with security measures, for if someone else were to get this letter, they wouldn't know the place of the meeting, nor the day on which it shall be held.

My dearest nephews, I'm proud of you. I love you. I don't want you to feel pressured to go on this quest if you haven't the desire. It is your choice. Whatever you do, you must make peace with your decision. Should you choose to come, your mother won't be happy, with any of us. Should you choose not to come, I have a feeling adventurous boys like yourselves will always be asking, "What if?"

I hope to see you in this quest, boys. But if not, know that I love you, and I'm proud of you no matter what.

Cordially,

Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror, of the line of Durin, heir to the throne of Erebor, rightful King Under the Mountain.

P.S. ~ It is up to you whether you tell the other dwarves of your relationship. It is your life, your relationship, and your decision. Just know that this quest is likely to take a very long time, and if you don't tell the others, I have a feeling you two will have a hard time keeping it a secret and refraining from showing your affections for one another. If you do tell them, you must be aware that there is always the chance some will not approve. Feel free to tell only some and leave the others in the dark. As I said, it is your choice. Balin and Dwalin are safe to tell. They have my full confidence in this matter. As, I believe, does Bofur. His brothers, I cannot be sure about, but he himself is one of the most accepting souls I've ever met. 

Choose wisely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't actually know how all of this would have happened in movie-verse or book-verse, so I just decided to write it how it happened in Jellyfish-verse.
> 
> Tell me what you think.
> 
> Also, the next chapter is the last one I have pre-written. So after I post chapter 9, the updates won't come as often because I'll be writing them as I go and I have other stories I'm also writing, even that aren't on this site. 
> 
> I have a couple other Fili/Kili stories that I've started, and I'll probably start posting them soon. I'll let you know when they're up.
> 
> Xoxo


	9. Discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys discuss the letter and then fall into old habits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that it took this long. I thought I had finished the chapter like, a month ago, but I had only written about half of it. And then I forgot to update. You guys should all thank my most recent commenter, Annabel, for reminding me that this fic even exists. 
> 
> P.S. Annabel, I left a present for you. I hope you like it.

Fili and Kili shared a glance as the brunette finished reading the letter. "You were right, little brother, the letter was very important."

Kili nodded his assent. "Mhm. So what are we going to do?"

Fili sat in silence for a while before sighing and laying down so his head was in Kili's lap. "Well, first of all, I don't think we should tell mother until we decide if we are going or not, on the quest, not just to the meeting next week."

Kili's eyes widened. "It is next week, isn't it? This is so crazy. We have been waiting for years to go on a trip with Uncle, and now we have the opportunity to go to a meeting to discuss doing just that in a week. You're right, we shouldn't tell Mother yet." As he spoke, Kili's fingers carded through Fili's hair, causing the blond to sigh in content.

"Do you want to go, Kili?"

Kili was startled slightly by the question. "Why are you asking me first?"

Fili sighed. "I don't want my thoughts on all this to influence your decision. Besides, you are the most important thing to me. Not some quest. I meant what I said last year, KiKi. You go, and I go. If you stay, then I stay. I won't be disappointed either way, because what I want most is to be with you, where ever that may be. Here or on the road with Uncle, nothing is more important to me than you, and me being by your side."

Kili sighed harshly. "Fili! Don't say stuff like that." 

The blond's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Stuff like what?"

"Romantic stuff."

Now Fili looked hurt. "Why not? I thought you liked it. Besides, it's true."

Kili still seemed frustrated, but now he had to fight to conceal a small smile. "I do like it. I absolutely love it. I know it is true. And I am really glad that it is true. But when you say stuff like that it makes me seem completely unromantic and far less invested in our relationship." Kili leaned over and gave Fili a short kiss. Lips still against his brother's, he continued. "I love you, Fili. More than anything. And I love hearing those things. But I honestly was hoping you would lean one way or the other. As much as I love being the center of your world," Kili pulled away from Fili's lips to look him in the eye, "I don't want to be the only thing in your world. I want other stuff to matter. And I want you to think about other things. Even if I'm the most important thing to you, I shouldn't be the only important thing to you. Understand?"

Fili smiled softly. "I do. And I suppose I agree. I hadn't thought about it much, but I guess I'm glad that you think about other things, so it only makes sense that I should do the same."

"Exactly. So are we going to this meeting thing?"

Fili thought for a moment, and Kili took the time to trace the contours of his face with his fingers, which was very distracting to Fili. "I don't see the harm in going to the meeting. If we go and decide we don't want to be part of it, we can just stay behind. I think we should go, and make a decision after."

Kili nodded. "Agreed." Kili was still tracing his brother's face, but now that they had pretty much finished their conversation, Fili grabbed Kili's hand and pressed kisses to the tips of each finger, then he placed a peck on his palm. Kili sighed in contentment. "I love you, Fee."

Fili smiled, lips still against Kili's palm. "I love you, too, Kee." 

The blond pulled Kili's hand from his face, resting it against his stomach and playing with it with his hands. Kili's other hand still messed with Fili's hair. They sat there for a while, but then Kili got a mischievous grin. "You know, Fili, we never finished what we were doing earlier. Mother interrupted us."

Fili smirked. "That's right, brother dear. I do believe we should fix that." With those words, Fili quickly sat up and pulled Kili into a deep kiss. Usually, Kili was the one to straddle Fili, but this time, Fili decided he wanted to be on top for a while.

As Fili crawled into his lap, Kili moaned slightly, wrapping his arms around the blond's waist. Fili's hands came around his shoulders to play with the hair on the back of his neck, effectively pulling the younger dwarf closer.

They continued to kiss. At times, it was hot and heady, deep and passionate. Other times, the kisses were slow and loving, fond and gentle. They seemed to alternate randomly, each displaying their love in a different form. Their love was want and need and desire and lust, and it was physical and invigorating. But it was also soft and gentle and fond and loving, and it was emotional and consuming. It was a flame that burned on, sometimes blindingly white with searing need, sometimes low red and orange with lazy warmth.

They kept right on straight through lunch, enveloped by their love and lust, by the touches and traces, by kisses and cuddles. Their heartstrings were plucked in harmony, making their love a symphony of life, their hearts beating as one. They couldn't escape the tangled web of longing if they wanted to.

This was their way of saying it, of sealing the deal. Always together, never apart. Where one goes the other follows. They'd never leave each other, never forsake each other. No giving up, no giving in. No one gets left behind or forgotten. Constant connection, if not in flesh, than in spirit. They are one, in mind, heart, and soul. In a few years, they would become one in body too.

They almost went too far. It was Fili who nearly crossed the mark, practically overcome with want. His hips ground too hard, his hands slipped too low, and his head was last in the clouds. The kisses placed against Kili's skin promised the best kind of ravaging, pillaging, and claiming of the body.

By the time Kili realized what was happening and came to his senses, Fili was about a second from crossing a line and dipping his hands inside Kili's trousers. Kili's hands shot forward and caught Fili's wrists, effectively stopping him from stepping too far and falling off the ledge into the abyss of lust. "Fili, no. We promised."

Fili blinked rapidly, seemingly coming out of some kind of trance. He looked down at Kili, and at himself, and only just then appeared to realize what he was doing. He winced, removing his hands from Kili. "Sorry, Kili. I guess I just got caught up in it all." He crawled off of Kili's lap and flopped down beside him on the couch.

Kili chuckled, a smirk on his face as he replied. "Don't worry, Fili. I understand. I know I can be pretty irresistible." Fili rolled his eyes, but still smiled, and Kili's smirk turned into a soft, fond grin. "It's about dinnertime, and I'm starving. Let's head to the kitchen, yeah?"

Fili nodded. "Yeah. Let's do that."

They got off the couch and headed for the kitchen. The whole way there, Fili struggled to hold himself back. When he saw Kili slip on an apron, it took every ounce of his will power not to push him against the wall and attack him with his lips. Hen Kili looked up and saw the raw need on his face, he looked like he was debating with himself about whether to smirk at him or send him a look of sympathy. He seemed to decide on neither, giving him a small, loving smile instead, not that it helped Fili with his problem.

They got to work on dinner, sneaking loving glances at each other as they worked. Eventually, the food was ready to be eaten, so they quickly went to the table and devoured it in practically one bite (like Bombur devours cheese).

They washed the dishes and headed off to bed, each falling asleep in the arms of their beloved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all my lovely readers. Remember, comments and kudos are the facilitators of world peace. Do your part to make the world a better place by taking a few seconds to give me feedback.
> 
> I am JustAJellyfish, and I approve this message
> 
> *end commercial*

**Author's Note:**

> *smiles shyly*
> 
> I love you?
> 
> *facepalms out of self-embarrassment*


End file.
